Global What????

by Sarah A. Hoyt

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Special to L. Neil Smith’s The Libertarian Enterprise

Because the left lives in the stupidest world—the one inside their minds—their new pet concept they’re dying to inflict on you, me, and our unsuspecting kids is “Global Majority”.

What the heck is Global Majority? Well, you see, the lizard people who are incredible racists, keep track of all gradations of skin color. Except, of course, when people of darker skin colors disagree with them, which makes them white.

Lately they’ve become obsessed with the idea of “white supremacy” for instance, which might make some sense if they were living anywhere in Europe up to the early 20th century, or in South Africa till the late 20th century. What it doesn’t make any sense, in fact in fact is in the US, the only truly multi racial, and mostly peaceful society in the world. I mean, I don’t know about you, but except for some very isolated areas, pale blonds are as rare as dark Africans. Most of us are a shade of mutt.

Ah, but you see, “White” is defined as…. well, having a job. Going in on time. Paying your bills. Or what we call “being a functional human being.”

But that’s because the lizard people are bizarrely racist. They think if you’re functional you’re white. Which means they don’t know (or understand) Americans.

And in that, we’re in good company.

You see, since we’ve started rejecting their insanity —okay, we have rejected it for a long time, but now we can fight back, and they’ve gotten crazier—they now pin their hopes on the world.

And they pin their hopes on the world, because the world —you see—is … wait for it: not white.

Therefore, the rest of the world is going to defeat the west because… They’re the majority. The GLOBAL majority.

First, I want to point out that the great thinkers of the left—referred to as “lizard people” because I’ve given up on their understanding people—are pulling the impressive, amazing gambit here that is known as “My big brother is going to come and beat you.”

Second, I want to point out they have to be aliens. Because they’ve never met a human, in the history of ever.

Look, there is no Global Majority. Only the most arrant racists could believe that. These people of extreme and insane pallor (and privilege) look around the world, see tan people, and say “Ah, all of them will band together and be a majority.”

Who was it who talked about ideas so stupid only an intellectual could believe them?

Look, even countries in Europe don’t consider each country a single race. I was born in a country so small you need a passport to swing anything above a day old kitten, but there are at least three distinct “races”. And no, they’re not the ones that the US considers races, though, yes, these days there’s immigrants from various places. But here I’m talking about groups of people who were around since say, the early 20th century. Portugal is at least three distinct cultural/physical “groups.” Great Britain, let’s not go there. France– never mind.

And then there is Africa. You know what? Africa has tribes, and each tribe considers itself a separate race. (Just one of the many reasons that “African American” is a multi-level lie, starting with “no African identifies as “African”” and ending with “Most African Americans are genetically what’s known as Caucasian and have never been closer to Africa than watching Black Panther.”

Asia is a multitude of tribes even more fractured than Europe. Possibly as fractured as Africa.

Then there’s Central and South America where—I hate to break it to the left, truly, I do—not only do most people there identify as “white” no matter what they look like to you, but they also are, for real, white supremacist, preferring paler people and looking down on the dark skinned.

In fact most of the world considers themselves as “white.” The only people who think only blond and blue eyed people think they’re white are naive and stupid American racists  leftists.

Global majority my sore patootie.

Dear leftists, if you knew any humans who don’t live inside your head, you’d have noticed the only thing more human than screwing and—if at all possible—making babies with anything that looks even vaguely human (witness all the variety of fossil humans whose remains we find in caves, just before realizing they are also in our DNA) is to point at your brother and claim to be a totally different race/culture/species than your brother.

Global majority! If the world in general understood these idiots, they’d be laughing too hard to speak. Or beating up on the left for calling them non-white.

You know what, left? Keep screaming for Global Majority to come and beat us up. They’ll come right after they’re done exterminating those weirdos in the next village over who are clearly a different race.

The truth, dear idiots, is that you’re locked in here with us.

And the voices in your head aren’t going to help you.*

*No, not even if you give the ‘reality divergent” status as an oppressed minority.


Reprinted from According to Hoyt for May 20, 2022

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