The Ithaca Auto and Burglar
By L. Neil Smith
[email protected]
The faded magazine ad haunts us across six long decades of stupidity and corruption:
"Here's the Ithaca Auto and Burglar gun, the so-called "Sawed Off Shot Gun" which holdup men fear because its load of sixteen buckshot spread over such a wide circle that a poor gun pointer, who would miss with a revolver or pistol ... is very sure to hit ... handy to carry in the pocket of an auto or in a holster ... Detective Harry Loose ... first induced the banks in and around Chicago to use it, then its use spread to sheriffs, police departments, paymasters, watchmen, express messengers, and it's a wonderful home protector. The U.S. Army demonstrated what American shotguns ... would do during the late war. This Ithaca Auto and Burglar Gun weighs about 1 1/4 pounds, it has 20 gauge 12 1/4" barrels, cylinder bore ... Price, including excise tax, $40.55."
The Ithaca Auto and Burglar was a veritable marvel in its time, a
near-perfect blue steel and walnut "magic wand" of self-defense,
against strong-arm artists and protection racketeers in the age in
which it was introduced, ideal -- because of its light weight,
moderate caliber, limited range, and short length -- for women, the
elderly, and children who might require it, not only against house
burglars, muggers, and the like, but against an abusive or incestuous
parent.
If John Lennon had been carrying an Ithaca Auto and Burglar under
his coat, the Fab Four would be selling live albums of their fifth
reunion concert by now.
It is illegal -- or, more accurately and revealingly, placed
beyond the reach of all but an economic and political elite -- and
has been since 1934, because its 12 1/4" barrels are 5 3/4" shorter
than federal law mandates, and its overall length -- roughly 20" --
is shy, by about the same amount, of the minimum length specified by
a statute that should never have been passed or judicially upheld in
a nation with something like a Second Amendment in its Constitution.
When I was a kid, my first lesson in politics arose from the fact
that my home town, Fort Collins, Colorado, was "dry" -- which is to
say that it was illegal to sell "adult beverages" within the city
limits, and had been since Prohibition. What made it educational was
that this imbecilic situation was maintained at the polls every year
by a tacit coalition of self-righteously muttering church ladies like
my own grandmother, and -- to begin with -- by bootleggers who plied
their trade inside the town, and later on, by proprietors of bars and
liquor stores that came to surround the "Choice City" in a tight
ring.
If you understand that, you understand the politics of victim
disarmament -- commonly and improperly known as "gun control".
National politics of the 1930s were dominated by an unprecedented
violence and corruption that sprang directly from trying to outlaw
production, distribution, and consumption of ethanol. Every bit of
the criminal activity -- gang-wars, drive-by shootings, summary
search and seizure, asset forfeiture -- that we have come to
associate in our times with drug prohibition arose, to begin with, in
the "Roaring Twenties".
In those days, Al Capone was the most politically powerful
individual in Chicago, in the Midwest, and possibly in the United
States. He purchased city councilmen, state legislators, congressmen
and senators the same way that I (the daddy of an electronic-age
seven-year-old) purchase AA batteries. Others of his kind did as
much of the same thing as they could. I leave it to you to figure
out whose interests were really being represented in Congress in
1934.
The "weapon of choice" for creatures like Al Capone was hardly
the Ithaca and Auto Burglar, or even the infamous Thompson
Submachinegun, it was the lives of countless revolver-carrying
cannon-fodder thugs, and the influence of crooked politicians.
Who was really protected by the Ithaca and Auto Burglar and the
Tommy Gun? Shopkeepers, householders, and especially truck drivers
whose vehicles were often stopped and stolen (just as Florida
pleasure boats are today) to serve as disposable conveyances for
illicit alcohol. One store proprietor with a "sawed off" scattergun
could discourage three or four goons who'd come to collect. One
truck driver with a "Chicago Piano" could run off a dozen highwaymen.
As surely as the Gun Control Act of 1968 was passed to disarm the
militant non-nonviolent blacks who were threatening to overturn the
political apple cart ...
As surely as the Brady Bill was passed because a certain variety
of men -- well-represented in politics -- are mortally afraid to see
women begin to arm themselves ...
As surely as Bill Bennett and Bill Clinton's rifle and magazine
law was passed because -- in this dangerous age of multiple
assailants, when a single individual's only chance against a gang is
often firepower, and the ideal weapons of self-defense are
semiautomatic rifles and pistols -- both right wing and left wing
socialists couldn't bear the humiliation of Korean store owners
successfully defending themselves against their clients during the LA
riots ...
The Ithaca Auto and Burglar was stamped out because it threatened
gangsters and hijackers who were the real constituency of the
congressmen who outlawed it.
Now Daniel Patrick Moynihan crawls dripping out of his butt of
Malmsey to attack expanding handgun bullets with a proposed 10,000
percent tax, exactly as he earlier attacked small caliber cartridges.
Why? Could it be because they're effective for use by ordinary
productive class people against the freelance thieves and muggers
who, as a statist, Moynihan naturally identifies with?
Write Moynihan. Ask him. And while you're at it, ask the
sonofabitch why he shouldn't spend his long-overdue retirement behind
bars, for having tried to deprive every man, woman, and responsible
child in this country of their unalienable individual, civil,
Constitutional, and human right to obtain, own, and carry, openly or
concealed, any weapon -- rifle, shotgun, handgun, machinegun,
anything -- any time, any place, without asking anyone's
permission.
Ask him.
Permission to redistribute this article is hereby granted by the
author, provided it is reproduced unedited, in its entirety, and
appropriate credit given.
L. Neil Smith's award-winning The Probability Broach opens a window
onto a Libertarian civilization. More of his books (see The Webley
Page: http://www.lneilsmith.org//) are available at
bookstores everywhere, at http://www.amazon.com, at Laissez Faire Books,
(800) 326-0996, or Frugal Muse Bookstore, (608) 833-8668. Neil will
speak at the AZLP annual convention in Phoenix, 4/19/97.
