T H EL I B E R T A R I A N E N T E R P R I S E
I s s u e 36
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L. Neil Smith's THE LIBERTARIAN ENTERPRISE
Number 36, February 1, 1998
Al Gore's Ass-Ed Reign
By L. Neil Smith
[email protected]
Exclusive to The Libertarian Enterprise
Now that Waco Willie's smoking "gun" has finally been discovered
by the socialist mass media, a feat approximately as difficult as
discovering Cheyenne Mountain if you happen to be in Colorado Springs
on a clear day (but then we are speaking of the socialist mass media
here, aren't we?), it's time for those with a full-time concern for
individual liberty to let nature take its course with the Clintons'
presidency (like letting nature take its course with a side of beef in
piranha-infested waters) and think seriously about what will happen
next.
While it's true that the Butcher of Mount Carmel may decide to try
distracting the "public" -- meaning the socialist mass media -- one
more time ("Pay no attention to the man behind the enormous, swollen
penis") by blowing up another federal building or starting a nuclear
war with Andorra or San Marino, the greatest danger to all of us is
that he'll just go quietly, leaving us with a successor every bit as
sleazy and disgusting, in his own charming way, as Hillary's part-time
husband.
Albert Gore, Jr. has stated in writing -- or had it stated for him
-- that the single worst threat humanity faces in the coming century
is the private automoble and its internal combustion engine. No doubt
he agrees with the Sierra Club that the sport-utility vehicle is the
Joe Camel of transportation. And Gore has been behind many of this
administrations's attempts to censor or control the internet, just as
he wants television controlled and his sappy wife has tried to censor
popular music (has anybody ever seen Tipper Gore and Sally Struthers
together?).
I know nothing first-hand about Gore's record with regard to the
individual right to own and carry weapons, but I'll bet I can predict
it.
In short, Gore is no less brutally fascistic than Clinton; he'll
just have more time for it because he won't be putting every coed he
encounters to the pork sword. Gore appears intellectually challenged
simply by the task of breathing (he's often criticized for addressing
everyone as if they were retarded toddlers but what that really means
is that he talks like one, himself) and Tipper can trust him probably
because she has to help him operate the complicated machinery of his
zipper.
Does any of this mean we shouldn't hope for Clinton's impeachment
and/or self-immolation because it would ensconce Gore as an incumbent?
Absolutely not. The real point is that, if we're going to prevent
this ecozombie from damaging American civilization any further, we'll
have to make life as impossible for him as we did (in all truth and
not without justification) for the Clintons, who will probably look
back on their term in office as seven years of pure, unadulterated
hell.
Just like we all will.
I suggest opening the War on Gore on two fronts. To begin with,
here is a guy who claims to have been a valorous war correspondent.
I've heard differently and so, most likely, have you. It's about time
that the nation heard differently, as well. We must ferret out and
interview those he "served" with in Vietnam -- by all reports, mostly
Saigon bartenders. Given everything else we know, I'm betting that
Algore is one of those politicos with the finest war record money can
buy.
At the same time, his power base at home must be neutralized. For
a long time I've meant to suggest that, since the Sierra Club (to name
one example) recruits members and solicits contributions on the basis
of phenomena like acid rain, ozone depletion, and global warming --
none of which can be demonstrated to exist by any scientifically
respectable means -- and since they claim to want a tidy planet when
what they're really after is the brutal suppression of individualism
and capitalism, they should be sued for something akin to consumer
fraud.
And sued again.
And sued again.
And put out of business in exactly the same manner that they and
theirs laid legal waste to so much of the nation's nuclear power
industry.
There's a particularly happy aspect to this approach. The "Big
Creep" should really be going down ... I mean sucked under ... I mean
the right reason to impeach "Schmucko" is what happened on his watch
at Waco. Instead, he may be forced out merely for lying about his
sexual sloppiness (by the way, how faithful would you be if you found
yourself married to Hillary?) and persuading others to lie about it,
too.
Which means that Jackboot Janet Reno will retire unscathed if not
exactly unshaken, the uniformed animals who actually carried out the
dirty-work will go unarrested, untried, and unexecuted, and Judge
Walter Smith, the marsupial magistrate who sentenced the acquitted
Branch Davidian survivors to 40 years will still be sending innocent
individuals to prison, instead of occupying a well-deserved cell,
himself.
On the other hand, if we can successfully nail Algore for being
the watermelon that he is -- green on the outside, red on the inside
-- maybe there's hope that the rest of the garden can be cleaned up,
too.
Novelist and essayist L. Neil Smith is the only libertarian ever to be
called a "thug" within the pages of the Libertarian Party News. He's
also been characterized by a disgruntled reader as having written the
"single most repugnant ... piece of tripe ... ever seen in an American
newspaper." In his spare time, he's the award-winning author of The
Probability Broach, Pallas, Henry Martyn, and Bretta Martyn and
15 other novels. Order them from Amazon.com through his "Webley Page"
at http://www.lneilsmith.org//index.html,
or visit Laissez Faire Books at http://www.laissezfaire.org
or call 1-800-326-0996 toll free.
The time is past to debate the merits of "gun control". The last three
decades of historical and legal scholarship show beyond any doubt that
the Second Amendment means exactly what we've always said it does, and
that weapons in private hands give rise to a safe, crime-free society.
The only fit subject now is how much of the next three decades Diane
Feinstein, Charles Schumer, and their ilk will spend in prison, having
maimed our rights and endangered the lives and future of our children.
-- L. Neil Smith, in correspondence
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