How Al Gore Became My Hero!, by Peter R Petronello

A faery tale from not too far in our future.

Al Gore became my hero about two months after he was inaugurated. It happened during a press conference, hastily called by a uncharacteristically haggard looking new president. Since the election, the repercussions of which are still being debated and will be for the next decade or so, the president appeared on television weekly, attempting to quell the upsurge of anti-government sentiments in the rural states. Actually the country had been polarizing for years, but the legal wresling which delivered the presidency almost resulted in lawyers being tarred, feathered, and sent to the wall! Not to mention the pro-gun/anti-gun forces staring at each other across an imaginary line. The anti-gunners leering, jeering, and emoting for the children all over the place, while the pro-gunners just stood there, grinning. The huge barrage of calls, letters, and emails to congressmen and senators, exhorting them to, at all cost, and very specifically not allow this president to accomplish anything. In effect, the people wanted the government to cease, not grow another bit , and desist from anything that even lightly smacked of liberal legislation. All of that aside, Al Gore did something that although he won't be around to participate, changed the face of government in America and maybe provided the republic a few more years beyond the 200 or so nominal life-span of that representative form of government.

Simply stated, Al Gore told the truth. He told the truth about how he and his staff had planned for each possible election contingency. How every single step in the final days of the campaign had been scripted. He admitted to wearing the ear bud that allowed his handlers to feed him his thoughts, accounting for the halting delivery his fans found quaint and his detractors found "goofy." He even went so far as to using a paperclip, while on camera, to pull out the device. This particular act almost physically transformed the man. His face and entire demeanor relaxed as if a huge load had been removed from his character. In fact, the remainder of his final speech showed an Al Gore who was almost real and likable even to his many detractors.

Al Gore described in rapid detail, how the hand counts were adjusted to make up the lead his opponent gained with the overseas absentee ballots, cast mostly by servicemen tired of the liberal socialization and general weakening of the military under liberal administration. He told the American people how, using liberally biased officers and enlisted servicemen, he managed to get many of the absentee ballots through the postal system without appropriate postmarks and thus thrown out in the "legal conduct" of the election.

His descriptions of how the legal writhings of the state supreme court were affected by his entire machine, (No VP ascendancy for this presidency). Not one, or two, but all of the justices of the State Supreme court were the subjects of dossiers in the Gore campaign machine, and each contained information that if revealed would utterly and completely destroy each justice's career and personal life (no comment on what that implies). He even briefly outlined some of the potential "liquidations" and potential targets his former boss described as "working every time."

One of the most poignant parts of the speech was when he described his "almost concession" phone call to George W. Bush on election night. It seems he was left alone with his thoughts for a while, and tried to do the right thing. His handlers saw the the line was up and checked in on him. He described that over the period of time between that call and his call back rescinding his concession, his handlers, his wife, and even Dan Rather representing all the media, cajoled, pleaded, and finally convinced him to "stay the course." This point in the speech seemed the most damaging as well. Not only had lied shamelessly to the American people throughout the campaign, he had lied to himself, in continuing a process he obviously did not have the stomach for.

Al Gore obviously took some time and made some preparation in making the decision to tell the truth. It took three of his upstairs secret service detail and two of the mufti wearing Marine guards to hold on to the oval office studio while his handlers were trying to get in and cut off the speech. More sympathetic Secret Service and Marine guards secured the cables and the White House Communications Administration facilities so the speech would continue to feed. Fortunately the "inventor of the internet" also broadcast his speeches to the web. There was almost a hush over the net while he delivered his words. Somehow, responsible, objective executives in network offices all over the country, did the right thing and kept the feed going. There were several instances of top executives realizing their liberal gravy train was leaving the station and that they might be able to save their little rice bowls. There were no deaths in what later came to be known as the "media return to grace," but several execs were restrained, detained, and turned over to local constabulary.

As his speech unfolded, Al Gore's campaign/transition machine pinged out like cartoon characters! Once they realized their run was finished, and that they would not be receiving the appointments, positions, and simple cash back (routed through Chinese banks of course) for their efforts, they beat feet for obscurity. All of the top level staff headed back to home states and tried to consolidate their liquid assets in preparation for trips to the Caymans if necessary. Vote counters who had proudly worn badges identifying them thus, made special effort to destroy any and all vestiges of their involvement in the recount mess. Finally, those who had been instrumental in coercing Al Gore back to the path were named by him in the speech, and their specific arguments dragged out into the light for the people to see. Needless to say, Dan Rather was out on his ear after the "return to grace," the details of his duplicity simply heaped more truth on the fire.

As he came to the end of his speech, Al Gore did a most courageous thing. He spoke directly to several of the major factions in political America in an attempt to forestall what could have become the beginnings of Civil War II. To wit, he said. "To the supporters of the second amendment, you are right. Guns do not cause crimes and criminals do not obey laws, so gun laws are silly. The founders meant for Americans to be able to defend themselves against tyranny. To the right to life/choice folks, it is not the government's place to be in the business of medicine anyway. So, if you believe abortion is wrong, don't have one. It is a medical procedure and should be kept between a doctor and patient." To the environmentalists, he simply said "I was wrong, I just wanted your vote. Get some real science. We cannot destroy the planet, it will be around until we are through with it then it won't be. In any event, people are more important than animals or dirt, get over it." To the non-naturalized, who helped "win" the election, he said, "America is still the best country on the globe; if you want to live here, learn English, the constitution and the bill of rights, and become a citizen."

Al Gore's final public words were pretty straight forward. "Don't kill all the lawyers, but get them and the government out of your lives. The job of being an American is about making decisions and taking responsibility for those decisions. The job of governing Americans is about protecting your ability to choose, period. Nothing more, nothing less. You have my sincere apology for putting you, America through this. Good night, and God bless America!"

With that, Al Gore left the oval office, left the White House, and went directly to the airport where he boarded a private chartered jet for his home state of Tennessee. Somehow, he managed to avoid being spotted or discovered along the way and has managed some of the obscurity his staff sought. As it turns out, he really did know how to rough it, and though you won't find his compound on any map, it is out there, and he is living as an American, on his own for his own.

We are living now in the third year of the Trent Lott presidency. He decided to keep the job and perform it with nothing but the American people and the Bill of Rights in mind. All of government was affected by the truth, and bipartisanism has been replaced by Americanism. The country went through some very tough changes. Industry grew proportionately to the number if displaced government workers who come onto the job market. And with the ecological restrictions lifted but being voluntarily adhered to, the air quality in all the new industrial centers became better than it ever was. The fed has stopped manipulating the market and after a very sketchy eight month period the economy came back at a lower level but with an upward trend that showed none of the "danger signs" that worried analysts so. With the repeal of virtually all the federal, state, and local gun laws, and all the lawsuits against manufacturers dropped, quality firearms became available at fair prices to all and crime dropped to lower levels than since anyone kept track. The rest of the world began marveling at the USA again. Our enemies began to see 300 million Americans with the similar goal of self-determination, a popular and effective government, and a military that although small, has some of the best motivated and best trained and equipped the world has ever seen. Life in these United States of America began again to have that expectant air of exploration and discovery. Not of land, sea, or air, but of our potential as individuals.

That is why Al Gore is my hero. He told the truth and it set a nation of individuals free to be their best.

Hey, It is my faery tale, right?

God save the United States of America, because the he is the only one who can!

Peter R Petronello
Msgt (ret) USMC
Virginia, America
[email protected]

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