Mothers' Prerogative

by Govco
[email protected]

Special to TLE

           Attorney Lawrence Taylor once said, "the greatest single threat to our freedoms today is a group of American housewives." More accurate words have never been spoken.
           Taylor was talking about Mothers Against Drunk Driving, better known as MADD. Why would he single out this particular group? Because according to Taylor, "we know that throughout history it is the well-intentioned zealots -- those who believe strongly in the rightness of their cause -- that are most willing to impose those ideas upon others."
           Let's examine a few of the "ideas" that have been imposed by the Supreme Court with the help of MADD. These were originally known as the DUI Exceptions to the constitution.
           The Fourth Amendment, thanks to mom, now says, "The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects shall not exist." Mother has blessed us with Nazi style checkpoints staffed by soldiers in full Battle Dress Uniform, smelling our breath, checking our eyes, and making sure our papers are in order.
           The Fifth Amendment has been modified to read, "Any person may be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; shall be compelled to be a witness against himself; and private property may be taken for public use, without compensation."
           Mommy dearest has even given us the "Forcible Bloodletting" exception. If you refuse to provide the police with self-incriminating evidence, they are allowed to hogtie you and open your veins.
           The new version of Amendment Six tells us that "the accused has no right to a jury trial or the Assistance of Counsel for his defense." And lastly, according to mother's revised Eighth Amendment, "Excessive bail and fines shall be inflicted, both cruel and unusual punishments as well as imprisonment shall always be imposed."
           But wait a minute. There are ten amendments in the Bill of Rights and so far mom has only addressed four. Lucky for us, mother holds to the notion that a woman's work is never done.
           It seems those dusty little liberty-bunnies are always dirtying up the house of tyranny. This time, mom found some under the bed in the little Billy's room. She got really mad. Not mad at Billy, she was very angry because the congresscritters didn't eat all those nasty little liberty-bunnies.
           Now mommy has set her sights upon the Second Amendment. In fact, she plans to march on Washington on her very special day because she feels the Second Amendment "has become untenable."
           Magnus Mater tells us, "We, the mothers, are calling on Congress to enact common sense gun control legislation by Mothers' Day 2000. Come May 14th, we mothers will go to Washington, D.C. either to celebrate sensible legislation or to protest bipartisan ineptitude."

We, as mothers, endorse the following:

Sensible "Cooling Off" Periods and Background Checks We believe that it is only common sense that sensible "cooling off" periods and extensive background checks be required of any individual who wants to purchase from any person or place weapons intended only for killing or injuring humans.

License Handgun Owners and Register All Handguns We call on Congress to require all handgun owners to be licensed and that they be required to register their weapons with the proper authorities. It makes sense.

Safety Locks for All Handguns Guns, like every other consumer product sold in America, have to meet minimum safety standards. Gun manufacturers should have to design guns with locks built in, and with other common-sense devices like loaded-chamber indicators and child-proofing.

Limit Purchases to one-handgun-per-month We believe that it is only common sense to end straw purchase transactions where individual who may legally purchase a firearm is hired to purchase firearms for Gun traffickers. These guns are sold on the illegal market and eventually wind up on our nation's streets, killing our kids.

No-Nonsense Enforcement of Gun Laws We call on all officers of the law to assume a no-nonsense approach in enforcing existing gun laws and to join us in our mutual crusade for stronger legislation.

Enlistment of Help from Corporate America We call on all child-friendly, nonviolent stores, companies, and corporations to sponsor us in these pursuits by advertising our message that guns -- in the wrong hands -- is simply unacceptable. We call on the like minded to work with community law enforcement agencies to offer swaps of meaningful goods and services for guns. And that the guns be destroyed by the proper authorities. In turn, we, the mothers, will patronize all child-friendly, nonviolent sponsors who join us in this mission.

RECRUITMENT
Our aim is to recruit -- from all walks of life -- mothers, grandmothers, stepmothers, godmothers, foster mothers, future mothers, and all others willing to be "honorary mothers" in this crusade. Our goal is to educate and mobilize the mothers of America to this cause. Our commitment as voting citizens is to realize our goals by Mothers' Day, 2000.

           Is mom the greatest threat to our freedoms? You be the judge, but I think she says it best when she admonishes, "any constitutional amendment can be regulated for public health and safety."
           Perhaps, after the mommies return home from Washington, the Bill of Rights will be further refined to say, "A well regulated Militia, being anathema to the security of a police state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be tolerated."

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