Bitch-Slap Bianca, by Jeff Elkins

Special to TLE

As a good, honest paleo-libertarian, I bow to no one in my dislike of Washington politicians; As far as I'm concerned, George W. Bush is typical of the breed, perhaps with the laudable exception of knowing when to keep his pants zipped.

Even so, sometimes my paleo-conservative side gets riled up and I feel nationalistic urges flowing through the veins; think Lon Chaney Jr. during a full moon. Those urges are really pumping now, since I read a screed by jet-setting, celebrity-screwing, commie babe Bianca Jagger, titled 'America The Unbeautiful' published in the U.K. Observer.

Bianca Jagger needs a good old American bitch-slap.

"George W Bush has abdicated the leadership role America once enjoyed. He has walked away from his international obligations, tearing up international treaties like the Kyoto Protocol and ABM treaty, which, however imperfect, have helped bring peace and environmental protection."

First of all, I'm no huge fan of Star Wars, but Kyoto? Thank goodness Bush had the balls to dump this worthless treaty. Based on fake science and socialist ideology, it's a key part of the communist Green's plans to drive us back into a pre-industrial collectivist society.

Bianca blathers on, "US corporations have the right to pollute the entire planet. The people and the environment don't matter."

Damn straight. Mick Jagger's former sexual plaything should go down on her knees and thank God for American corporations which feed the world and supply the majority of its inhabitants with technological progress. It would be better than what she usually goes down on her knees for, whenever a drug-addled rock and roll celebrity gets near her oversized and overused oral orifice.

If this socially useless refugee from a Nicaraguan bordello cares to see some real pollution, let her visit the moonscapes of Russia, the former East Germany and about any other formerly communist country on our globe. Her precious socialist, collectivist states were the masters of polluting both the environment and the human soul.

"To come into force, the Kyoto Protocol needs to be ratified by 55 of the 180 or so nations that negotiated it. In addition, the countries which sign up must together be responsible for more than 55 per cent of the world's greenhouse-gas emissions. So, if Japan, Australia and Canada follow the US and don't ratify, as they are insinuating, the treaty is dead. Some argue that the treaty is dead anyway without the support of the US, by far the largest polluter. "

Hey, Bianca -- the only country in the entire world to ratify Kyoto is Romania, another former people's paradise.

"Bush still questions the scientific evidence that links fossil-fuel emissions to climate change. He calls the treaty 'fatally flawed', 'unworkable' and claims the targets are not based on science. He proposes more research, even though 1,000 of the world's top climate scientists already believe we are heading for disaster."

To quote the famous anarchist philosopher, Bugs Bunny, "What a maroon!" The last time I checked, humans and other mammals exhale CO2; the gas that greenies like Bianca are so worked up into a rabid, foaming lather about. The Kyoto treaty also exempts the various third-world toilets (which I fervently wish Bianca Jagger could be exiled to) around the world from even participating.

"The report from the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) is described as the most comprehensive study on the subject to date and warns of large-scale and irreversible climate changes, of devastating droughts, floods, violent storms in addition to the spread of cholera and malaria. Earth's temperature could rise by as much as 5.8 degrees C over the next 100 years. "

Oh no! The sky is falling, the sky is falling! We know it's true because the UN told us so!

La Jagger also goes off on Exxon:

"ExxonMobil's chairman, Lee Raymond, has every reason to be pleased with Bush's decision to bury the protocol. I was present at its last shareholders meeting, where Raymond described the protocol as 'unworkable, unfair, unattractive and damaging to vital American interests'�.That is why I have joined forces with Greenpeace and Friends of the Earth to launch a boycott of ExxonMobil products. We believe that transnationals have an obligation to the global community on issues of social responsibility. ExxonMobil does not adhere to this philosophy; it believes that human survival may simply not be economic."

The next time Bianca goes for a joyride in her chauffeured Rolls Royce, I hope she remembers to direct the servant not to fill up at a British Esso station.

I'd dearly love to see Jagger, Streisand, Baldwin and all the other leftist celebrity scum dumped into a South American jungle (excuse me, rainforest) where they could live in peace, without the distractions of American technology. With any luck, they'd cannibalize each other. Bon Appetit, Bianca!

And finally, I'm thrilled that Jagger has joined forces with Greenpeace. I hope her next crusade will be to save the whales� I'm totally out of tartar sauce.

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