Propagandamercial; You and the War On Poverty, by Keith Shugarts

Special to TLE

The Orifice of Strategic Effluence presents the following propagandamercial for your coercive pleasure. Now fortified with 10% more vitriol for your reading discomfort.

Does spending your own money confuse you?

Would you rather allow the government to control your money?

Then have we the government got the answer for you. It's the War on Poverty!

The War on Poverty makes you feel good because you can force those mean evil people with lots of money to contribute to the government.

Why? Because that is what we the government do - we are your agent of aggression.

Now doesn't that sound nice and fancy? What it means is that we the government can be used to compel someone else to contribute to your schemes or to do whatever it is you wish.

Now let's talk more about the War on Poverty!

Lyndon Baines Johnson, following in the footsteps of Franklin D. Roosevelt's Social Security Skirmish, created for you the War on Poverty.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, just feel that money being sucked out of your paycheck to pay for social programs and other over staffed, over-funded government programs like Medicare, Medicaid, WIC, Aid to Dependent Families, Welfare, Food Stamps, and others - a full 49% of all the taxes that you pay go to fund these programs. After all, you can't possibly know how to properly spend your own money now can you?

Why should you have to choose from all those confusing purchases, charities, and other fun stuff when we the government can choose for you? That's right, with the War on Poverty you don't have to endure the challenges of making a choice or exercising your own individual freedom because we the government will distribute your money to those most deserving of it - the bureaucrats.

Since the implementation of the War on Poverty, we the government have stolen nearly 5 trillion dollars from individual Americans. Do you really think private charities, businesses, and churches could do that? Of course not, they don't have guns!

We acknowledge that some money might actually get through the labyrinthine bureaucratic monstrosity to actual individuals, but we hope not.

Are you aware of the fact that if the money we the government stole from you were divided up amongst all those people we the government said we were trying to help they would have gotten about $40,000 each. Of course that's just silly thinking, giving money to people! Heck, they'd squander the money, just like you would.

Why don't we want people to get the money? Money equals independence and individual freedom, and with that you would not need government ... sheesh, haven't you been paying attention? The more people we the government can provide help to, the more you will need us!

If you are a brave soul just imagine if there was no government around to take money from people. There'd be all these free individuals running around the streets spending on whatever they wanted - without you having a say in any of it. Isn't that scary? Now you wouldn't want that would you? Of course not!

And what if you don't want to contribute to the War on Poverty with your money? Well, if you don't, then we the government will send some nicely mannered armed men over to your house and seize your property - you don't even have to leave your house, because we will take it from you!

Ha, ha, ha, we're just kidding; the men wouldn't be nicely mannered. In fact, they'd probably kick down your door, shoot you and your wife - especially if you had the audacity to resist with a weapon you really weren't supposed to have, and ransack your house.

But wait, there's more! Just wait until we the government tell you about the War on Drugs.

All hail our tyrant and chief, Mad King George.

Tune in next week, same vitriolic channel, same acerbic station. Underwritten by a generous grant of tax payer money stolen from you.

Bio: Keith graduated with a degree in History from the College of Charleston. When he is not writing articles for The Libertarian Enterprise, he can be found arguing amongst the Anarchist-Capitalist's at Anti-State.com.

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