Going To Hell In Your Own Way
by Patrick K Martin
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Exclusive to TLE

In my six-year incarceration in Catholic schools, I learned one very important fact, just about anything you do will get you sent to Hell. Drugs, sex, masturbation (which is only sex until you've tried the other thing), meat on Friday, lying, cheating, not being Catholic, stealing, laziness, envy, coveting, abortion, contraception ... well, you get the idea. The problem I had was the fact that everyone bothered me about it. I mean really, why is it anybody's business but my own whether or not I go to Hell? Okay fine, you might be a nice person and not want to see anybody burn for all eternity, but does that give you the right to put a gun to my head? I think not.

America was founded on the belief that every human being has the right to live his (or her) own life, or to put it another way, everybody has the right to go to Hell in their own way. You think abortion is a sin? Don't have one, but don't simply assume that the sinfulness of the act gives you the right to put a gun to a woman's head and stop her. Homosexuality is a sin? Then I suggest you not participate, but what in God's name makes you think that just because God will punish the offenders that you have the right to get your licks in first (no pun intended)? What's that? You say that God will reward you for jamming your nose in other peoples business? Funny, I seem to remember that good works won't get you into heaven, only Jesus Christ can do that, so why not just leave the rest of us out of it.

You can't get into heaven standing on my shoulders, so get the hell off. If I want to go to Hell, don't sweat it, I won't take you with me, I promise. We all need to just stop worrying about everybody else and take care of ourselves. Just remember, "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."

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