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Herman Cain, Fugitive Slave
by L. Neil Smith
[email protected]

Attribute to L. Neil Smith's The Libertarian Enterprise

I don't write about race very often, because it's unimportant to me. But allow me to preface this by admitting I never liked Herman Cain.

Not as a presidential candidate. It had nothing to do with his color, of course. I can think instantly of three black men (Walter Williams, Thomas Sowell, and Richard Boddie) who would make excellent candidates, and Cain, for all his mercantilist baggage, would have made a better President than that crypto-Democrat Mitt Romney, or America's answer to Benito Mussolini, Il Douchebag himself, Newt Gingrich.

I leave Rick Perry undescribed only because I can't summon up an adjective adequate to deal with this dull-witted second-rate George Bush imitation, a walking, talking violation of the Law of Natural Selection.

Cain, however, did not find himself jettisoned from the American electoral process because of his opinions on policy (at least not directly), his past association with the Evil Menace of Fast Food, or even because of the naughty things he was accused of having done with women by three specimens of highly questionable believability and a million braying jackasses of the government-approved news-generating industry.

Cain got the boot because—well, let me tell you a story ...

Once upon a time, in the City and County of Denver and across the American airwaves everywhere, there was a radio talk show host named Ken Hamblin, who famously dubbed himself the "Black Avenger". Hamblin had been an old-time news photographer back east, eventually turning into the archetypal liberal who's been mugged, a seat-of-the-pants conservative who was into motorcycles, private aviation, and (gasp!) guns.

Although he had been an admirer of left-wing radio talker Alan Berg, assassinated by so-called white "supremacists" (an inaccurate neologism I detest as much as "normalcy"), Hamblin eventually began to perceive that the principal threat to American civilization was not a gaggle of raggedy-assed neo-fascist Bible-thumping rednecks, as the Southern Poverty Law Center, every politician to the left of Dwight David Eisenhower, and the round-heeled socialist media would have us believe, but the Southern Poverty Law Center, every politician to the left of Dwight David Eisenhower, and the round-heeled socialist media themselves.

Hamblin began to see blacks like himself, not as beneficiaries of liberal policies and politicos over the decades, but as their victims. He saw in Democratic Party programs like Affirmative Action and the forced integration of public schools, a clear implication that, in the minds of certain whites, black people were inferior, lost without liberal "help"—"help" that destroyed the black American family, "help" that created the drug- and crime-infested inner cities, "help" that made generations desperately dependent on white "progressive" handouts.

And that was real racism.

Hamblin began to see the inner cities as plantations, vote-farms meant to keep the left in office forever. "Every liberal," he took to proclaiming in a big, round, Kingfish voice, "ought to have his own Negro."

Hamblin was right. He, himself, had escaped the New Plantation, the vote-farm of inner city Detroit. To the white liberal establishment in Denver as well as to its black overseers, becoming a conservative made him a runaway—a fugitive slave—and that simply could not be tolerated.

It took them a couple of years, and a great deal of political and economic pressure, but in a media environment owned by millionaire "progressives" the Black Avenger's enemies finally drove him off the air. He retired, and the Internet says he and his wife do a lot of traveling.

As a libertarian, I disagreed with the conservative Hamblin often, and to a great extent. But I still miss hearing his voice every day. He is living proof—as if you needed it—that whatever proggies may call you, it's what they usually are themselves, less because of psychological projection (although that has to be a part of it) than that they lack the intellectual horsepower to think up something original.

They also tend to forget that what goes around comes around. I struggle hard, every day, toward a happy epoch of history in which no one ever associated with any of the last four administrations—those of George Herbert Walker Bush, William Jefferson Blythe Clinton, George Whatever Bush, and Barack Hussein Soetoro Obama—can find a job.

They are this country's lowest, most despicable and condescending racists, their every policy for the past sixty years a shining and inspirational attempt (to them, anyway) to "lift up the White Man's Burden".

For unbending critics of selfishness and private enterprise, they all seem to have exceptionally nice houses, even nicer cars, and piles of money, generally obtained through malodorously mercantilist means—rather than straightforward acts of capitalism between consenting adults—and every bit of which they utterly despise themselves for possessing.

As I have pointed out on several previous occasions, they seem to hate and fear anything—tobacco smoking, private fireworks on the Fourth of July, the personal automobile, electrical power generated employing coal or natural gas, hunting and the cooking of red meat over charcoal, and especially guns of any description—associated (or that they erroneously believe might be associated, like Edison's incandescent light bulb or nuclear power) with the domestication of fire.

It's a sickness.

It's also the end of my story, except for this: I have no proof regarding the stories about Herman Cain. My understanding of history and human nature, as well as established facts regarding the character and associations of his accusers, incline me to believe that they are untrue.

One thing you can be absolutely certain of: Cain's presidential candidacy was attacked by exactly the same evil forces that destroyed Ken Hamblin's remarkable, valuable, and highly enjoyable radio career. They know what they want, and it is not recalcitrant, mouthy, runaway slaves.

What they want is Barack Obama.

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