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Jim Carrey is a Useless Idiot
by Sean Gangol
[email protected]

Special to L. Neil Smith's The Libertarian Enterprise

At first I wasn't going to respond to this idiot, since I find it counterproductive to give more attention to idiotic celebrities who already have too much exposure to begin with, but I decided to make an exception because it was interesting to see how far a has-been celebrity will go to get attention. Unless you skipped over the title, then you probably know that the man I am referring to is Jim Carrey. To be honest I have never thought that Jim Carrey was God's greatest gift to comedy. It seemed like his routine mainly revolved around the stupid looks that he made on his face. The only two movies of his that I really liked were Bruce Almighty and The Majestic (underrated). I just never found him that funny, even when the rest of America did.

Now days, he doesn't seem to get much attention at the box office. Even his most recent movie, where he was relegated to co-star status has tanked at the box office, which explains Carrey's childish behavior. Now that Carrey isn't as relevant as he used to be, he now has to resort to calling gun owners uncompassionate mother f%$ers or making third rate parodies on Youtube.

Despite all the absurdly mean spirited things that he had said about gun owners and his attack on Charlton Heston, a man who is no longer around to defend himself, I can't bring myself to hate Jim Carrey. Yes, he attacked a dead man, accusing him of having everything from a small penis to homicidal tendencies. Even though I had my own issues with Heston, mainly because he became the president of the NRA to defend guns rights, while still supporting the Gun Control Act of 1968, I have to admit that Carrey has never and will never be in the same league as Charlton Heston.

Heston was an accomplished actor who won several awards in his lifetime, while Carrey won two Golden Globes for two movies that hardly anybody remembers. Heston also has the honorable legacy of supporting the civil rights movement when it was unpopular, while Carrey's biggest accomplishment was aiding his ex-girlfriend in scaring people away from vaccinations based on the unfounded claim that they cause autism. One of the things that people will remember Heston for the most for is his portrayal of one the most famous biblical patriarchs, Moses, while Carrey will most likely be remembered as the guy who almost literally talked out of his ass in Ace Ventura.

Sadly these weren't even the most pathetic aspects of Carrey's behavior. Ever since he received negative backlash for his behavior, Carrey started whining about how Fox News has been picking on him. He even accused them of slander and threatened them with a lawsuit. I could spend another three paragraphs explaining how Carrey doesn't seem to understand the legal definition of the word slander but I don't even think it is worth the time.

As I said before, I can't bring myself to hate Carrey. I can't even get angry with him. In the end that is what Carrey really wants. He wants people to get mad at him, so he goes out of his way to sling mud at gun advocates, while taking a swing at a dead man (yet the dead man still won). I am not going to give him the satisfaction. The only thing that he is going to get from me is pity (not the sympathetic kind), which is probably the last thing Carrey wants. He wants gun owners to hate him so that he can whine and cry about being persecuted. He wants to feel important, even if nobody else cares what he has to say.

Take my advice, Jim. Stop antagonizing gun owners. Stop making mean spirited videos about people who are no longer around to defend themselves. I would also recommend finding a movie where you don't have to make so many stupid looks on your face. That sort of humor is beyond stale (not that I ever thought it was that funny to begin with). Then if you play your cards just right, maybe you will finally get better reception then you did with your last movie, which had less viewers then a rerun of The Ten Commandments. Must be humiliating for someone like Carrey to take such a beating from a dead guy.

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