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If a Size 12 Fits, Then You Have Big Feet
The Kaptain’s back on deck and there are going to be a lot of hurted little feelings.
The Kaptain’s Log,
by Manuel Miles, aka Kaptain Kanada
[email protected]

Special to L. Neil Smith's The Libertarian Enterprise

A lot of people have very large smelly feet and, while a nice person wouldn’t mention it, your old Kaptain, as you would know by now if you had been paying attention, is not a nice guy. If the shoe fits, wear it; don’t put on a size too small and then complain about how much it hurts.

Of course I’m not talking about actual shoe size, i’m just about to lambaste you for your incompetence as parents—not all of you, just those of you who merit it. You already know who you are, but I’m going to spell it out for everyone else.

If your child grows up to be an “entitled” narcissist, an alcoholic, a junkie, a street bum, a “feminist” [sic], a politician, a cop, a thief and/or a murderer (I know, it’s getting redundant already), it’s his (or her or its) fault for remaining one, but it’s your damned fault for having raised one. That seems like a contradiction, but one of the worst results of a bad upbringing is a theoretical adult who will not take responsibility for him/her/it self. Somebody else is always to blame, just like somebody else is to blame for your failings as a parent.

If you plead and argue with your offspring (but Mommy asked you nicely to clean your room, Sweetie!), rather than threatening them with unpleasant consequences for failure to comply, then you are a bad parent. If you think that children who are nattered at will grow up to be reasonable people, then you are irrational.

“Children learn what they live,” as the asinine old poster said. If they “live” that they can stall and manipulate you and get out of doing what they don’t wish to do, they’ll sure as heck learn that. The problem is that they’ll apply that lesson to the rest of life and the world. If they are born into wealthy, influential families, they’ll get away with it and be a damned nuisance to all of society for the duration of their misspent time on this orb. The rest of them are in for a series of rude awakenings.

If you didn’t make your kid get up and go to school because it was just too much bother for you, you are a bad parent. It doesn’t matter if you regret it later, what you did is done and it defines what kind of parent you were and will most likely remain. Fortunately, most of you only had one child so society will only have to deal with that one miscreant.

If you parked your kid in front of a television, computer, and/or cellphone, you are a very bad parent, no matter how much easier it made things for you to have electronic baby-minders. Your child suffered physically, mentally, and spiritually and you can look at the sky and whistle until doomsday, but that’s a fact. Neglect is not benign, it’s just as malignant as beatings.

If you told your child that she was being “oppressed” every time she didn’t get her way in life, it’s your damned fault if she turned out to be a narcissistic paranoid psychotic waste of space. It’s not my fault for pointing out the obvious.

If your brat steps in front of a moving vehicle while yammering into a cellphone and is hit by a car, it’s not the driver’s fault. If you must sue someone, sue yourself.

If your anti-social little socialist thinks that he/she/it is being victimised when the whole world doesn’t “affirm” its “alternate lifestyle” perversion of choice, don’t tell me that it’s society’s fault that you raised a deviant, and don’t even try to pass off that crap about how it’s “genetic” that little Brucie wants to pretend to be a Caitlyn. It’s the result of a bad upbringing and a failure of the upbroughtee to straighten itself out. Society is not at fault for it and nobody should be forced to bake it a wedding cake or let it hang out in a restaurant until the decent people will no longer frequent the place.

“It can happen to anyone,” is the moan when some “perfect” yuppie excuse for a family turns out a junkie or anorexic or suicidal kid or homosexual. It does not happen to “anyone”, it happens in your family for reasons that you don’t want to admit. And that bleat is followed by the ultimate cop-out: “We’re such good parents that we’re supportive and affirming and accepting of our pervert/junkie/pathological liar/cop/politician/pickpocket.” That glosses over your failure with a pretty coat of political correctness and it has the added advantage of requiring you to do nothing to try to actually help the train wreck you foisted on society.

Of course, your baby is not a problem to society, oh, gracious no! Society is at fault for not congratulating your self-centred brat for its inability to conduct itself like a normal human being. [I await praise for using the gender-neutral term “it” rather than the hateful binary “he” and “she”.]

This is going to be upsetting to most of the few friends I have left, but I have reached the age at which I’m tired of pussy-footing around those who, in turn, have no qualms about pissing on everything I believe. People tell me that terms I use are “offensive” to them but are unwilling to abridge the looooooooong list of politically cracked euphemisms and misbegotten notions that they spout which are offensive to me.

I am, as I indicated, too old to give a fuck. I’m not offending you, I’m speaking the truth and if that offends you then again, that’s your problem and I no longer care even a little bit. If the shoe fits, wear it.

Or go barefoot.

There’s an old Canadian saying, “Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke!” and it has nothing to do with jokes. Everybody’s “offended” these days but the most vocal about it are the most offensive to others. I believe that you have a right to be a socialist or any other kind of fucking idiot you like and you also have a right to keep on bleating about how oppressed you are, but only so long as you respect others’ rights, especially their God-given right to...

...Peace and Liberty.

Manuel Miles, aka Kaptain Kanada, is a hurtful, insensitive, mean, nasty, ugly old curmudgeon who has long since ceased caring about those who want to force him to be “caring”. His motto is: “DILLIGAF?!” If something he has written offends you or someone you know then that’s just too bloody bad; it’s a harsh world and a short, hard life. Get used to it.

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