Attribute to L. Neil Smith's The Libertarian Enterprise

I apologize to the entire Earth, to everybody living on it, and to the blue heavens above.

I apologize for being born a member of that small portion of the human race which, having been cruelly deprived of melanin by a heartless Evolution, nevertheless did its very damnedest to make life better for itself, for its families and its children, and for everybody else around them (what other way can you make an honest living?), than it was before they came across it.

I apologize for being born a member of that small portion of the human race that discovered germs, the cause of most diseases, and what to do about them, saving millions of other human lives in the process, and preventing many, many more people from spending their entire lives bent, broken, and in agony.

I apologize for being born a member of that small portion of the human race that figured out how to replace hearts, lungs, kidneys, and other organs, so that people's lives could be extended when their own organs failed.

I apologize for being born a member of that small portion of the human race that despite a lack of wings, has learned to fly, and despite its lack of gills, has dived to the bottom of the deepest abysses in the sea.

I apologize for being born a member of that small portion of the human race who invented the steam engine, the internal combustion engine, the electric motor, and the nuclear reactor, putting an end to more than ten thousand years of backbreaking—often involuntary—manual labor and animal-powered transportation.

I apologize for being born a member of that small portion of the human race that conceived the idea of going into space, to the Moon, to Mars, to the Asteroids, and perhaps someday, even to the stars, themselves.

I apologize for being born a member of that small portion of the human race that has designed bridges, planned tunnels, and created roadways of asphalt, concrete, and steel through what was once nothing but a howling, deserted wilderness, shrinking distances, providing countless jobs for other people, and an unlimited future for everyone.

I apologize for being born a member of that small portion of the human race who accepted people of every possible kind, from every possible corner of the world to our finest schools, giving everybody on Earth the 21st century.

I apologize for being born a member of that small portion of the human race whose "privilege" has consisted of starting with absolutely nothing, and rising, rung by rung, from abject poverty to wherever each of us is today, without ever demanding that anybody who was unwilling, give them a hand or a handout.

I apologize for being born a member of that small portion of the human race who developed cheap, easily manufactured firearms, which, despite the wishes and commands of the most evil and power-hungry among us, are now in the process of ending tyranny, worldwide, forever.

Most of all, I apologize for having offended the sensibilities of the insensible, for appropriating the cultures of those I admire for actually having culture—and something worthwhile to teach me, for micro-aggressing against the micro-intelligent, and for writing this essay, which I know they will never be able to read or comprehend.

I apologize to the entire Earth, to everybody living on it, and to the blue heavens above.