Distribute Widely and Attribute to L. Neil Smith’s The Libertarian Enterprise

That nasty Stalinoid mouthpiece Joy Behar showed up on The View last week where she customarily dispenses her spider venom, with a fairly serious-looking bandage on her wrist. She explained to her coven that she had injured herself cutting open an avocado.

My cynical daughter (I raised her right) speculated that this represented a clumsy attempt on Behars’s part to put herself out of our misery. I don’t personally believe the universe is that benevolent. It turned out, as the story developed, that this is a common injury that emergency rooms and doctors are all-too familiar with, although I love and consume as many avocados as I can, myself, have never hurt myself opening one, or known anybody who did.

I was married once, (a long time ago, in a universe far, far away) to the daughter of a national magazine editor, far to the left of Behar, who was actually proud of the fact that he was purely intellectual and had no physical skills whatever. My own dad was a shockingly thoughtful military officer who started out as an aircraft mechanic. I, myself, am a retired gunsmith/machinist who decided to write science fiction. I’ve always believed that the prophet Mohammed was right about at least one thing: no matter how high a man’s station in life, he should also learn a physical trade to keep himself grounded in reality.

Jesus was a carpenter, after all.

So was Harrison Ford.

“Liberals” or “progressives” or whatever the hell they’re calling themselves these days habitually project their many and grievous personal shortcomings onto other people around them. In a long life spent struggling over the Second Amendment, I’ve noticed that most of them lack the physical dexterity, the mental discipline, or the emotional stability to handle firearms competently. At some level, I’m sure they understand this about themselves and expect it to be true of others. Hence their idiot devotion to gun control.

The only proper reply is, “Don’t worry, we won’t let you have any guns.”