Bookmark and Share/Attribute to L. Neil Smith’s The Libertarian Enterprise

I apologize to the entire Earth, to everybody living on it, to all creatures great and small, and to the blue heavens high above.

I apologize for being born a member of that tiny and insignificant fraction of the human race which, having been cruelly deprived of melanin by a heartless Auntie Evolution (Mother Nature would never have done such a thing), nevertheless did its very damnedest to make its miserable life better for itself, for its families, for its children, and for everybody else around them (because, what other way can you make an honest living?), than it was before they unwillingly inherited it.

I apologize for being born a member of that tiny and insignificant fraction of the human race that discovered germs, which are the cause of most diseases, and what to do about them, saving millions upon millions of other human lives in the process, and preventing many, many more individuals from spending their entire lives bent, broken, twisted, and in agony.

I apologize for being born a member of that tiny and insignificant fraction of the human race that figured out how to replace hearts, lungs, kidneys, and other organs, so that people’s lives could be extended when their original organs failed.

I apologize for being born a member of that tiny and insignificant fraction of the human race that, despite a lack of wings, has learned to fly, and despite its lack of gills, has dived to the bottom of the deepest abysses in the sea to observe the strange and wonderful creatures dwelling there.

I apologize for being born a member of that tiny and insignificant fraction of the human race who invented the windmill, the steam engine, the internal combustion engine, the electric motor, and the nuclear reactor, putting an end to more than ten thousand years of backbreaking—very often involuntary—manual labor and animal-powered transportation.

I apologize for being born a member of that tiny and insignificant fraction of the human race that conceived the idea of flying high into the sky, far beyond the clouds, traveling into space, voyaging to the Moon, to Mars, to the Asteroids, and perhaps someday, even to the stars, themselves.

I apologize for being born a member of that tiny and insignificant fraction of the human race that has designed and constructed bridges, planned and bored tunnels, and conceived and created roadways of asphalt, concrete, and steel through what was once nothing but a howling, deserted wilderness, shrinking distances, providing countless jobs for other human beings, and an unlimited future for everyone.

I apologize for being born a member of that tiny and insignificant fraction of the human race who welcomed and accepted people of every possible kind, from every possible corner of the world to our finest schools, presenting everybody on Earth with the 21st century.

I apologize for being born a member of that tiny and insignificant fraction of the human race whose "privilege" has consisted of beginning with absolutely nothing, not even the clothes they stood in (which belonged to the Lord of the Manor), and painfully climbing, rung by rung, from the most wretched poverty imaginable to wherever each of us finds ourselves today, without ever demanding that anybody who was unwilling, give them a hand or a handout.

I apologize for being born a member of that tiny and insignificant fraction of the human race who developed cheap, easily manufactured firearms and other weapons, which, despite the fondest wishes and direst commands of the most evil and power-hungry entities among us, are now in the process of eradicating tyranny, worldwide, forever.

Most of all, I apologize for having offended the sensibilities of the insensible, for appropriating the cultures of those I admire for actually having culture (and something worthwhile to teach me), for micro-aggressing against the micro-intelligent, and for having written this essay, which I know fully well they will never be able to read or comprehend.

I sincerely, humbly. and abjectly apologize.