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Attribute to L. Neil Smith’s The Libertarian Enterprise

“To the extent that a society has a ‘public sector’, to that extent, that society is socialist.”
—Robert LeFevre

“The goal of socialism is communism.”
—Vladimir Lenin

A few weeks ago I read somewhere that Nicolás Maduro Moros, the bloody-handed socialist dictator of what used to be Venezuela, had sent a hundred thousand dollars—which might have fed thousands of his own people who are starving under socialism—to the migrant caravans marching relentlessly northward like army ants to the southern border of the United States.

This was not a particularly friendly act. At the time, it occurred to me that what Maduro had done—offering material aid and comfort to the parasitic hordes intent on physically violating that border, invading our country, destroying our culture, and consuming our substance—was an act of war, and that it’s time to call in Seal Team Six on the putz.

Then last week, I read in several places that Pope Francis, the former Jorge Mario Bergoglio, the Bishop of Rome, and leader of the Roman Catholic Church, had sent five hundred thousand dollars to the would-be invaders, begging the question, should we be at war with the Vatican?

Certainly we are not at war with Catholicism, per se. I am not a religious individual myself, but I would be a fool not to recognize the comfort and satisfaction that millions of Americans derive from their faith. Even I enjoy it when the Reagan family says grace at Sunday dinner. The Church, for all of its recent failures and foibles has been a pillar of Western Civilization for a couple of thousand years. Is there any other institution that has been influential for that long? (Well, if you’re Jewish ... )

But—something you may or may not know—Catholic isn’t the only thing this Pope happens to be. He’s also a communist. No, I’m not just slinging that word around carelessly. The fellow’s a practitioner of “liberation theology” which is no kind of theology at all, but a fusion of the traditional Church mind-set with the butt-stupidity of Marxism (where is Robert Mueller when he’s really needed to sniff out Russian perpetration?). To quote Wikipedia (which I believe may be trusted in this limited context) he’s also the first Jesuit Pope, the first from the Americas, the first from the Southern Hemisphere [in the roundabouts whereof liberation theology was spawned], and the first Pope from outside Europe since the Syrian Gregory III, who reigned in the 8th century.

Where Wikipedia goes suspiciously silent, and what I would like a great deal more to know about, is the extremely sketchy circumstances that compelled Frank’s predecessor, Pope Benedict, to walk the plank—and inserted this miserable commie in his place, an individual with all the authority, dignity, authenticity, and infallibility of a department store Santa Claus. He’s a laugh a minute, almost as funny as Alexandria Occasional-Cortex. I even read that he’d like to mash Christianity and Islam together into something we’d probably end up calling Islamianity.

Thank God I’m an atheist.

Please forgive me if I can’t help reflexively evaluating the Vatican as a tactical objective. It’s very small, a few square blocks, and could be taken out by the Nephew of All Bombs.

The Pope is body-guarded by something the Vatican calls the “Swiss Guard” —or is it the Swiss chard, a concept I find plenty intimidating, myself—complete with their own spiffy psychedelic flag, snappy Renaissance uniforms (designed by Michaelangelo himself) with the underpants on the outside like Superman, impressive automatic rifles and good old-fashioned pole-arms, including battle-axes or halberds. I wonder how Seal Team Six would handle all of that. It’s damned hard to make military advances—or even defend yourself—when you’re rolling on the floor laughing your ass off.

If nothing else this ugly business should be a sober reminder to those of us who are fortunate enough to reside in today’s democratic republics, of the exasperations endured by our pre-revolutionary ancestors. The guy’s an absolute monarch; whaddya gonna do?

Come to think of it, the French may have an answer.