L. Neil Smith's
THE LIBERTARIAN ENTERPRISE
Number 53, August 15, 1999
[NOTE: this article was written well before the most recent
Kalifornia disarmed citizen turkey shoot. -- ed.]
A Conspiracy Theory -- Sort Of
by L. Neil Smith
Special to The Libertarian Enterprise
The Atlanta Declaration: Every man,
woman, and responsible child
has an unalienable individual, civil, Constitutional, and human
right to obtain, own, and carry, openly or concealed, any weapon
-- rifle, shotgun, handgun, machinegun, anything -- any
time, any place, without asking anyone's permission.
-- L. Neil Smith, WeaponsCon I, Atlanta, Georgia, September 1987
Boys and girls, it's Remarkable Coincidence Day at the Mickey Mouse
Just as the political fluid they'd sucked out of the Columbine
murders was running dry (and hadn't produced the legislative results
desired by the creatures of the night dedicated to eviscerating the
Second Amendment as a prelude to "reducing us under absolute
despotism") by the Remarkable Coincidence mentioned above, a loose
screw in Atlanta obligingly filled his family and everybody else in
sight full of holes (I know, he bludgeoned his family to death, but
it's the thought that counts) providing the Darksiders with enough
go-juice (eight quarts to the corpse) to get their anticonstitutional
parade another block further down the road to serfdom.
For my part, I'm long past believing that any of this is mere
happenstance, although I resisted the idea for as long as I could.
Look at the facts: we've all heard of steam engines, right? Well
international victim disarmament -- the gun control industry -- is a
blood engine, consuming thousands of acre-feet of the stuff
every year, helpless to advance its agenda a millimeter without
plenty of formerly-warm bodies to wring out like crimson-saturated
sponges and drain into its insatiable maw. If enough victims fail to
die, then how can international victim disarmament -- the gun control
industry -- hold its press conferences and photo opportunities
decrying "violence in America" and demanding that the killing be
stopped (by making it harder for those who don't kill other
people to exercise their right to own and carry the only proven means
of preventing the killing)?
If violent crime increases, then international victim disarmament --
the gun control industry -- wins. If violent crime decreases,
international victim disarmament -- the gun control industry --
loses. You tell me: will international victim disarmament -- the gun
control industry -- ever propose any measure that decreases violent
(The same formula applies to the National Rifle Association: if
victim disarmament is forever on the rise, then the NRA wins -- using
the perpetual menace of its sister organization, Handgun Control
Inc., to frighten gun owners into pouring rivers of mazuma into their
already overstuffed pockets. If victim disarmament is ever finally
discredited, tossed on the ashheap of history where it belongs, then
the NRA -- and its six-figure executives -- will be out of work.)
As a direct result, more innocents die, as they did at Luby's
Cafeteria in Killeen, Texas, where victim disarmament laws worked
just as they're supposed to, failing to keep a murderer from his
appointed rounds, but assuring the deaths of his victims who had
law-abidingly left their guns in their cars. In Littleton, teachers
and students, exercising their right to own and carry weapons, could
have ended the killings at two: Klebold and Harris. Knowing this,
Klebold and Harris might never have plotted to murder their fellow
It's this sort of thing that international victim disarmament -- the
gun control industry -- wishes to prevent at any cost.
They want your death.
They need your death.
There can be no question that international victim disarmament -- the
gun control industry -- makes those corpses, every helpless
one. The only question remaining is whether it does so only
indirectly, by suppressing your right to the machinery of
self-defense, or by deliberately staging the incidents in which that
killing -- so very centrally important to their wishes, hopes, and
plans -- gets done.
As I say, I resisted the latter idea -- that some or all of these
marvelously photogenic killing sprees were planned and carried out to
achieve political ends. Trouble is, as suspicious as I am of
coincidence, I'm even more suspicious of convenience.
How is it that the specific hobbyhorse that international victim
disarmament -- the gun control industry -- happens to be riding this
week always manages to rock its way into schools, post offices, or
other places where folks have been stripped of their right to
self-defense, just in time to write the supremely desired conclusion
in carmine exclamation points? If this week it's "Saturday Night
Specials", then the designated dingbat kills a bunch of people with a
snubby ".38". If next week it's submachinegun lookalikes, he shows up
with a KG or a Kel or whatever the hell they call them nowadays.
But I admit, I'm prejudiced, having been subjected to the bigotry,
prejudice, harassment, persecution, outrageous lies, and 25,000 Jim
Crow laws that international victim disarmament -- the gun control
industry -- have imposed on me and my fellow gun owners over the past
half century, most recently with the wholehearted, enthusiastic
support of the Republican Party and the National Rifle Association.
Being prejudiced -- and fully as subject to wishing on a star as
anyone else who's been involved with politics for a long time -- let
me tell you what I'd do about this situation if by some bizarre turn
of events I found myself elected President of the United States.
First, I'd appoint what's termed a "blue ribbon commission", made up
of people whose integrity I trust, to investigate every shooting over
the past few decades that was used to stampede passage of laws that
violate our rights. In the majority where the killer had recently
been under psychiatric "care", I'd want to know what "therapy" was
involved and by whom it was administered. Special attention would be
accorded those incidents in which the perpetrator tidily killed
himself before he could be arrested and interrogated. Maybe we'd find
out once and for all if there's a conspiracy.
Nor would this be a gaggle of nameless faces and faceless names, like
the ones who decided that Lee Oswald found a way to shoot around
corners in mid-air, or that David Koresch had it coming because they
believed he'd found a way to molest children they hadn't thought of.
If you're reading this, you might find your own face (and parts
south) on such a commission, along with those of your friends and
More generally, there's a greater need for a similar set of blue
ribbon commissioners to investigate every item of legislation passed
since about 1912 where an artificial panic was generated to push the
bills through. The laws in question would be repealed, nullified, or
otherwise set aside, and the people of this country would regain
freedoms taken from them under false -- or even real -- pretenses.
Those responsible for taking those freedoms would be dealt with under
due process of law. It's a bit late to punish the Sullivan who
disarmed New York, but the vision of sending federal marshals to haul
Diane Feinstein and Charles Schumer off the Senate floor in manacles,
belly chains, and leg irons -- putting new creases in their thousand
dollar outfits -- is one of the things that keep me going these days.
And ultimately (but not finally) a libertarian president's best asset
would be a Bill of Rights Compliance Commission, given the task of
identifying which government activities meet the tests of the 9th and
10th Amendments and which don't, the latter to be terminated.
Opinions vary as to how much government that would leave. I think we
should determine the answer empirically, don't you?
Any attempt to pass or enforce an unconstitutional law -- especially
any law that violates the first ten amendments to the Constitution,
commonly known as the Bill of Rights -- is a crime punishable by ten
years in prison and a ten thousand dollar fine for each offense
(Title 18 U.S.C, Sections 241 and 242). If you'd like to see
that law enforced, go to http://www.smith2004.org and make your
[Print 'em, Danno ... no charges filed -- ed.]
CLARKSBURG, W.Va. (APBNews.com) -- Since the FBI began collecting
fingerprints 75 years ago, the agency has amassed the daubs of a
whopping 34 million criminals.
But despite this massive cache, delays for fingerprint checks have
made the database virtually useless to local law enforcement
Today, in response to a process long run at a snail's pace, FBI
Director Louis Freeh unveiled a massive new computer system that will
enable agents to conduct 62,000 fingerprint checks a day and return
completed searches to local police departments in less than two
The new system, called the Integrated Automated Fingerprint
Identification System, or IAFIS, will also be able to process
fingerprint checks for job applicants and security clearances in
about 24 hours. That process now takes three to four months.
IAFIS actually consists of three separate components. The first
component includes a national computer network for state crime labs
to transmit fingerprint images to the FBI.
The second component, which makes up the heart of IAFIS, actually
analyzes the prints and looks for a match in the FBI's fingerprint
If no match is found, the third component of IAFIS creates a new
fingerprint entry for the suspect. Right now, the FBI receives about
5,000 fingerprints a day that are not found in the database.
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