L. Neil Smith's
Number 179, June 24, 2002

"Assume a Meditative Stance"

"Mr. Weaknee"

by Sean Gruber

Exclusive to TLE

"All we are saying is give peace a chance." - John Lennon

Peace is not a means it is an end. It is not a cause it is an effect.

Yoko Ono, the late John Lennon's wife, has picked up where her husband left off, by advocating a secondary instead of a primary. Her and her type talk a lot about "gun control" and various other feel good concepts which they apparently feel (I won't say "thinks" as this would be far too complementary) will result in a better society.

Pretend for a minute that someone actually tried to apply peace as a primary instead of a secondary, let us call that someone, Mr. Weaknee.


Now, Mr. Weaknee was a hippie in the sixties, he smoked a lot of dope, engaged in a lot of meaningless, unprotected sex, and generally had a gay ol' time treating his body like a septic tank hose. But he considered one incident his life defining moment; once while boycotting the Vietnam War; an angry Marine had grabbed him by the wrist and bent it back until it broke. One of Mr. Weaknee's friends pried the Marine away and punched him squarely in the face, bloodying his nose. Afterward Mr. Weaknee had scolded his friend, reminding him that "violence only begets more violence."

Eventually Mr. Weaknee grew older and he had to get gainful employment. He went to work for a medium- sized cities, largest newspaper, as an opinion piece editor. So far he had had a good career; the local politicians that he endorsed almost always won their elections. He was also the chairman of his city district's planning commission. He had more power then a third rate, wanna-be Mussolini could ever expect.

Yeah, it was all going pretty good for Mr. Weaknee; that is until Mr. Frank moved in next door.

Mr. Frank was a public school teacher from the New England area. He split his off-time between his love for acoustic rock (his favorite group is Simon and Garfunkel) and his responsibilities as a regional director of the National Association for Non-Consensual Sexual Sodomy.

Mr. Weaknee has been single for most of his life but he knows how to be neighborly. So the first Saturday after Mr. Frank moved in, he baked some cookies and went to greet his new neighbor.

Mr. Weaknee knocked at the door and Mr. Frank invited him in. They had a pleasant conversation over coffee and cookies about all of the day's current hot issues, you know, "gun control", and school lunches, and "free" health care for the elderly and such. To Mr. Weaknee's great satisfaction they had agreed about almost everything, (whoever said intellectuals were out of touch with the masses?) and after finishing up the cookies Mr. Weaknee pleasantly started to say his good-bye's and got up to leave.

Suddenly Mr. Frank grabbed Mr. Weaknee by the neck violently, and threw him to the ground. Mr. Frank groped at Mr. Weaknee's crotch and ripped at his clothes. Before long Mr. Frank's violent behavior brought Mr. Weaknee's futile resistance to a complete end, and Mr. Frank had his way with Mr. Weaknee.

After Mr. Frank had finished his vile act, he whispered quietly into Mr. Weaknee's ear, "now, I know you're not gonna tell the police about this, because you wouldn't want people to know that I had my way with your ass. So shut up, and next time, maybe I'll go easier on you, honey".

Mr. Weaknee picked what was left of his clothes up, wrapped them around himself as well as he could, and stumbled home. He got into the shower and tried to wash away all of the bodily fluids, most notably his own tears.

After calming down somewhat, Mr. Weaknee got a cup of tea, and put on his favorite record. He tried to get lost in the melody and lyrics; "Imagine there's no heaven, it's easy if you try", he decided right off against calling the police, he couldn't bear the thought of telling anyone else what had happened to him, "No hell below us, above us only sky", he thought about buying a gun and ... and ... "Imagine all the people, living for today", come now Weaknee, he thought to himself, you could never harm another human being, it's just better to try, to try ... and forget. Turn the other cheek; violence only begets more violence, besides some pretty horrible things must have happened to Mr. Fra... him.! For him to have acted that way.

At least once a week for the next month Mr. Frank reveled in all of Mr. Weaknee's pleasures. Finally, after a particularly violent episode Mr. Weaknee, (what was left of him anyway) crawled away and hastily put his affairs in order to move (his sister packed his belongings and loaded the moving van with some friends).


"The science of mine and thine - the science of justice - is the science of all human rights; of all a man's rights of person and property; of all his rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

"It is the science which alone can tell any man what he can, and cannot, do; what he can, and cannot, have; what he can, and cannot, say, without infringing the rights of any other person.

"It is the science of peace; and the only science of peace; since it is the science which alone can tell us on what conditions mankind can live in peace, or ought to live in peace, with each other."
-- Lysander Spooner, The Science of Justice

Self-defense is the most critical right of a human being. Without it, all of mans rights, although still existing, are plainly meaningless. If people refused to defend themselves, the first thug that was willing to hurt people would take complete control of the world. "Turning the other cheek" may be virtuous in the mystic, fairy- tale land that, whoever wrote the bible, lived or lives in, but in this world, that is, in reality, it leads to death and destruction.

"Turning the other cheek" is not a noble thing to do; it is a cowardly weak- kneed thing to do. If a man refrains from defending himself, either he does not respect himself, does not value his life, or is suffering from plain and naked fear. Or, as in Mr. Weaknee's case, he suffers from all of the above, along with a serious case of worn- out, catch -phrase, anti-concept, disease.

If one wishes to live a peaceful life, one MUST defend oneself. Mr. Weaknee is a knave to think that by allowing a miscreant to violate his body, he takes the high road. This whole, "don't stoop to the criminals level" catch -phrase is one of the most damaging idea's possible to peace's chance of coming to fruition. For Mr. Weaknee to be "stooping to their level" he would have to commit the same act that was committed against him, to put it more plainly, he would have to rape an innocent person.

Whenever you hear someone talk about "peace in our time" or "world peace" ask yourself, does this person advocate justice? Because if they don't, they aren't advocating peace, they are really advocating a pacifist, collectivist, police- state, hell hole, that will extinguish your life as quickly as a modern day safety Nazi will extinguish your five dollar cigarette.


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