L. Neil Smith's
Number 187, August 19, 2002


Our Stupid, Criminal Airport Screeners
by Bob Wallace

Exclusive to TLE

I had a semi-epiphany several days ago. It was almost a case of the proverbial light-bulb going on over my head. I was at one of our modern-day police-states known as an airport, looking at the semi- Neanderthals known as the screeners, and understanding overcame me: I finally understood the Mind of the Nazi.

All those books I've read--hah! Nothing compares to the direct comprehension of reality.

Look at the latest outrages at the airports--an 80-year-old WWII veteran arrested for protesting screeners looking in his wallet, a nursing mom forced to drink her own breast milk, and a G.I. Joe toy soldier having his rifle removed. It suddenly dawned on me that airport screeners are not only stupid, they're criminal. Many of them are potential Nazis, and right here in America.

The late Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn, in his last book, Leftism Revisited, wrote about an old German proverb, "There is no sword that cuts so brutally as a peasant who becomes a lord." Kuehnelt-Leddihn, who was Austrian, lived through both WWI and WWII, and was well acquainted with the psychology of the National Socialist.

His comment goes a long way toward explaining what is wrong with the screeners. For years I never really understood what he meant. Now I do. And it is a shame I came to understood this in America.

What are screeners paid? Slightly more than minimum wage? And they are supposed to stand there all day searching people and looking in their luggage, which has to be one of the most boring jobs around. Let's look at the psychology of these people. Most of them have to be losers. These are adults working for $8.50 an hour. They're can't get better jobs. I'll bet that the overwhelming majority of them have IQs inbetween 90 and 100. If their IQs were any higher they couldn't stand the job. If there were airport screeners in Brave New World, they must have been the Epsilon-Minus Semi-Morons. If our current screeners marry each other, that's exactly what their offspring will be.

These are the same kind of people who were guards at the concentration camps. The lowest of the lower classes. The dregs of society. If you want to see the mentality of people who became camp guards, look at who is tearing your folded clothes out of your luggage and then just stuffing them back in, and searching little old ladies in wheelchairs. Or getting what I suspect is some kind of sick sadistic sexual thrill making women drink breast milk.

The average prisoner in state and federal prisons has an IQ of 93. The average screener, I suspect has the IQ of a convicted felon. I would like to see a study on this. I'd bet money I'm right. These people are losers who can't get a better job; they are on the bottom rungs of society. And these buffoons are supposed to protect us from hijackers? Yikes! This is one of the reasons I don't fly anymore.

Put these dull-witted, underemployed, undereducated, bottom-of-the- rung people into a position of authority, and what do you think happens? Just what is happening now. They're feeling up women and stealing peoples' property. They are peasants become lords. They have a criminal mentality. Sweet Baby Jesus! Pogo was right: "We have met the enemy, and they is us."

Lord Acton wrote centuries ago, "Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." He wasn't quite right. A better saying is, "Power intoxicates, and immunity corrupts."

What we're dealing with at the airports are criminals who answer to no one. They've got power, can't handle it because of their below-average intellect, emotional immaturity and criminal tendencies, and are allowed to do anything they want to passengers without having to pay for their abuses. God forbid they ever get some really spiffy uniforms. They'd become completely drunk with power.

And getting the federal government involved will only make things worse. Who do the feds answer to? No one. So what we'll end up with is a bunch of crooks working for that disorganized criminal enterprise known as the federal government. We'll have the same criminals with a slightly higher pay, and the whole weight of the federal behemoth behind them.

The whole thing is a catastrophe waiting to get worse. I'm still waiting for the first time someone punches a screener for putting his or her hands in the wrong place. The other reason I don't fly is because I don't trust my temper with these morons. Although I suspect it would be worth it to punch one of these people in the nose.

The Israelis have the right idea. You don't target weapons. You target terrorists. But when you have stupid people with criminal tendencies trying to profile terrorists, it won't work. So maybe it's just easier to search everyone. I'll bet I could stand at an airport, wave innocent people through and stop potential terrorists with 99.999999999999999999999% accuracy. But they'd have to pay me $50,000 a year.

That'll never happen. I guess the people in charge think stupidity's cheaper and better. But that's always been the Way of the Federal Government. It'd be easier just to arm everyone on the planes and fire all the screeners.

In the old Andy Griffith show Andy let Barney Fife carry a revolver, but with only one bullet, and he couldn't put the bullet in the pistol until Andy gave him permission. What we've got now are a bunch of people who couldn't even handle Barney's job, and now they've got machine guns.

Great deals on great computer hardware—Tiger Direct!
Now accepting PayPal

Great deals on great computer hardware -- Tiger Direct!

Help Support TLE by patronizing our advertisers and affiliates. We cheerfully accept donations!

to advance to the next article
to return to the previous article
Table of Contents
to return to The Libertarian Enterprise, Number 187, August 19, 2002