L. Neil Smith's
Number 219, April 14, 2003


I Wish I Were an Iraqi
by William Stone, III

Exclusive to TLE

Hats off the hard work and sacrifice of the Americans who liberated the people of Iraq from an oppressive dictatorship. While no Zero Aggression Principle philosopher could ever approve of organized government warfare, on an individual basis, anyone who would help overthrow a dictatorial government is to be praised. Indeed, it is that very spirit that will ultimately liberate America.

This liberation will not occur in the immediate future, however. Indeed, the FedGov's Unconstitutional success in Iraq will embolden it to further overstep its authority. This can only have a negative effect on American liberty.

Regardless, it is certainly inspiring to watch the Iraqi people tearing down the statue of Saddam Hussein. Would that we were free to do the same. We can only hope we live long enough to see the statue of America's own Lenin, Abraham Lincoln (http://www.lneilsmith.org/abelenin.html), torn from its memorial and dragged down the Mall in ruins.

After the liberation of Baghdad, President Bush wasted no time in broadcasting a message on Iraqi state television. He delivered a rousing speech in which he guaranteed the Iraqi people the freedom they've so long desired.

Would that the President had any such designs for his own subjects in the United States. Indeed, let's examine for a moment the freedoms he promised the Iraqis versus the dwindling liberties he wishes for Americans:

"We will respect your great religious traditions, whose principles of equality and compassion are essential to Iraq's future."

Give Bush points for this one. He clearly respects any American's religious traditions. Contrary to the Constitution's prohibitions against the establishment of a religion, the President wishes to steal money from Americans to fund "faith-based initiatives." Frankly, any religion that fails to note what happened to public education when it became beholden to the FedGov probably deserves to become another of its puppets.

"We will help you build a peaceful and representative government that protects the rights of all citizens."

Would that this particular pipe dream even possible. If the United States Constitution has proven anything, it is that the only thing government can accomplish is to attract the corrupt and the corruptible. The rights of the individual will always be sublimated to the will of the state. Bush himself proves this every day, when he violates the very Constitution that he swore to protect and defend.

Government—as a concept—initiates force against the governed.

"You will be free. Free to build a better life, instead of building more palaces for Saddam and his sons."

This from the individual presently living in what can only be described as one of America's few palaces, built and maintained by raw, naked theft. Not to mention the hundreds of thousands of acres of government-owned land, only a tiny fraction of which are authorized by the Constitution. Were Bush to apply this same freedom to the United States, the overwhelming majority of government land would be immediately released to the first squatter who cared to put a fence around it. Hundreds of government agencies responsible for maintaining this land would be disbanded, and the leeches who staff it forced to find a real job.

"Free to pursue economic prosperity without the hardship of economic sanctions."

It almost goes without saying, of course, that government at all levels sanctions Americans to the tune of half their earnings. If Bush wished to apply this freedom to the United States, he would eliminate the third of your money stolen by the Federal Government with the simple stroke of a pen.

"Free to travel ... "

Again, by applying this concept to the United States, Bush would need to tear the Federal Rape Centers—sorry, "airport security checkpoints"—out of all the airports in America.

But then, he was the one who installed the Federal Rape Centers in the first place. Under his regime, airport security was transformed from a pointless, Unconstitutional barrier to free travel into Federally-sanctioned groping centers. Our wives, sisters, and mothers are subjected to pointless sexual abuses every day, sexual abuses that Bush clearly approves of.

In applying the concept of "freedom of travel" in the United States, Bush would also need to enforce the Bill of Rights. This would make random, baseless police searches of one's person and possessions impossible.

He'd need to allow any man, woman, or responsible child to board any aircraft in America armed with the weapon of his choice. This would, of course, be the most effective deterrent against terrorist hijackings imaginable. The fact that such an option is never considered is proof positive of the President's intent.

President Bush wants ready victims, men and women—especially women—unable to defend themselves from the first minimum-wage Federal flunky who cares to grope their breasts or give them cavity searches.

"... and free to speak your mind."

Try speaking your mind in any of America's airports. Try mentioning that President Bush might be "out of control" and see how fast the Secret Service descends on you. Perhaps your name will end up on the FedGov's "no fly list". If you have an unpopular religious or racial view, perhaps the FedGov will simply kill you or burn you alive with your friends in your church.

But we shouldn't complain. After all, according to the Republican whores on talk radio, the First Amendment doesn't protect ALL speech, but simply political speech. Suggesting that the President is out of control isn't political, but rather traitorous—therefore it's not protected.

"Free to join in the political affairs of Iraq."

The future of Iraq is really starting to sound rosy. Would that Americans truly had this ability. As any Libertarian can tell you, just getting a candidate's name on the ballot is so perennial difficult as to take up most of the Party's time to the exclusion of all else— which is, of course, the intent of those in power. If Bush were to apply this freedom to the United States, any individual or political party that wished to field a candidate could have his or her name on the ballot.

But then, if a truly representative Republic were resurrected, it would become immediately apparent that America doesn't have two political parties, but rather identical political cousins played by Patty Duke.

"And all the people of your country ... will be free of the terrible persecution that so many have endured."

This can only mean that if applied to America, the Unconstitutional laws that provide racial preferences of any kind must be repealed. Furthermore, all Unconstitutional laws that require individuals to associate with one another against their will must also be repealed. Failure to abide by these Unconstitutional laws results in what can only be termed political persecution. Will Bush oversee the removal of persecution laws?

"I assure every citizen of Iraq: your nation will soon be free."

With this glowing view of the future, I can only wish I were an Iraqi. No doubt the Iraqis will learn the lesson of American history: that the way to tell when a politician is lying is when his lips are moving.

William Stone, III is a computer nerd (RHCE, CCNP, CISSP) and Executive Director of the Zero Aggression Institute (http://www.0ap.org/). He seeks the Libertarian Party's nomination for the 2004 Senate race in South Dakota.


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