L. Neil Smith's
Number 296, November 7, 2004

"Please, sir, may I have another?"

Son of Return of Kaptain Kanada, part 5
The Kaptain's Log

by Manuel Miles, aka Kapt Kanada

Exclusive to TLE

Well, the 11th of November is "Remembrance Day" in Canada, and "Armistice/Veterans' Day" in the USA, so there will be the usual hypocritical posturing and lying from the usual suspects. Me, former Selective Service registrant # 12/210/48/186, I have nothing to say on the topic; I'm just one of them commie cowards what was too chicken to fight for freedumb and dumbocracy by way of dropping napalm on rice farmers in Southeast Asia.

So you can ignore me, as well you should. The following, however, is the text of an email letter written by a young American soldier who volunteered to invade Iraq. [I was asked not to publish it as long as he was in the military, nor to reveal its source, as people fear for their jobs down there in the land of the free, so his name has not been included and his sister is only referred to as "Sis".]

There are no shocking revelations in this letter; we all have known for a long time now that there were never any "WMD" in Iraq (except for the ones used by the US and UK forces to kill 100 000 Iraqi civilians). I think it would be a good thing, however, to remind ourselves that imperial wars involve good kids in evil activities, and that mindless slaughter on behalf of war profiteers is, sadly, all too damned real.

Dear Sis,

Hey sis, been a while, but as you can tell, I've been busy. Thanks again for hooking me up with the Hulk game for my PS2, it's a lot of fun, although I've only been able to play it twice since you sent it to me for my b-day. How's New York treating you? Still working for the establishment? Just kidding, or not (kidding, kidding).

Listen, Sis, I need to get this letter out to you. Things are getting tough here in Baghdad, and if anything happens to me I didn't want my last words to you to be a thank you for money you sent me or something petty like that (but thank you btw). Like I said, things in Baghdad are getting rough, and I've seen some horrible things, things that don't exactly make me proud to be an American. I was supposed to be on the first boat back home, but it looks like that won't happen for a while. Nobody is sure what we're supposed to be doing over here anymore. I'm certain however that there are no WMD, and the "liberation" of Iraq has now turned into the "occupation" of Iraq. My CO has said as much as well, although I can't really quote him for obvious reasons. Let's just say that the people are none to happy anymore (not that they ever were). I'm not sure what the news is telling you, but to be honest the situation is deteriorating rapi dly, which is why more troops are being sent everyday. I've seen people get shot, maimed and killed by the same soldiers who are supposed to be "liberating" them.

It's awful Sis and I haven't had one night of solid sleep since I've been here. I keep seeing this image over and over in my head of this girl (had to be about 12 years old) who "accidentily" got shot in the face by one of our troops when a "Anti-Sadaam" protest suddenly became ugly.

She died in my arms Sis, it was one of the worst things I could ever imagine. I'm sure guy wasn't actually aiming for her, but dammit. There really are no words, it was the worst thing ever and I still can't get the image of this young girl out of my head. We haven't been given a head count yet of how many people have been killed, but it's well past 7000 right now. This whole place reeks of death. People are getting sick (including troops). I've seen more dead people then I would ever thought I'd experience.

I'm not really allowed to tell you much else, as I'm sure this email will be censored, but it's awful and for the first time your little brother is truly scared. Yesterday I got hit in the neck with a rock while we were going building to building. It wasn't the first time either and I just keep hoping that the next time it isn't a bullet or something explosive.

We're not sure who in the hell we're looking for, nor would we know even if they found them. Some of the people we found who were "pro-Saddam" were questionable at best. We're breaking up any sort of congregations the people we "liberated" are having. Like I said, Sis, I've seen some horrible things, this has sort of been my own "Red Badge of Courage", and I am no longer proud to serve and wish I could get out before my duty is up, but that's not going to happen now. I'm pretty certain this situation is going to get much, much worse and I don't know if I'll make it home in one piece, which is why I am writing you.

As far as WMD go, there are none. We don't even make any wishes anymore, it's apparent that it was some sort of ploy. My commanding officer is trying to keep spirits up all he can, and he's a great man, but it's sort of hard to see that you have fought and killed innocent people over oil. There, I said it, maybe the military censors will see I wrote this and court-martial me (which would be a curse and a blessing at the same time). You were right Sis, and I was wrong. It's about the oil. I've lost about 5 friends, men I considered "brothers", to this damn thing and I don't know if I'm going to make it home either.

Which in the end is why I'm writing you. You are the best sibling that I could ever look up to. I always looked up to you (even when you had purple hair when I was 9) and I love you sis. I really need you to know that and I wish I could call you right now to tell you that (speaking of which, please tell our hippy brother that I said the same thing since he doesn't even own a phone, have you called him lately?)

Anyway, I'll keep in touch as much as I can, but if this is my last letter to you, I want you to know where I stand with you. I love you very much. I can't wait to see you again.

Love your lil' brother,

[name deleted out of fear of reprisals]

PS: If I do make it home in one piece you had better hook me up with one of your hottie friends. I'm all buff now, trust me.

The author of this email has since returned, in one piece, to the US and civilian life. May God bless him and his family with...

...Peace and Liberty.


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