L. Neil Smith's
Number 327, July 10, 2005

"Relegation Nation"

Successfully Failed
Historical Precedence

by Ulrich Biele

Exclusive to TLE

This morning, German Chancellor Gerhard Schröder dared to conquer new historical terrain by publicly admitting his incompetence and staging a vote of no confidence against himself. A politician who until yesterday fought like a lion in order to get a parcel of seventy new laws into the books which he wanted to be passed before he himself had to pass, today stages a vote he deliberately intends to lose in order to have his disability to govern officially confirmed. Weird.

This is historically unprecedented, and I think it is an example, all who think they can govern with no concept except by a legislative shooting spree and administrative tinkering void of concept and vision, should follow. I wish Gerhard well, having to live of unemployment benefits for the next 18 months, and, by succession, being too old and lacking success in his last job, not qualified for any further employment, being forced to live on social welfare for the rest of his days. A long and peaceful retirement, I hope.

Especially his cutting by half of the unemployment figures from four to only five millions will be remembered forever, as will be his other successes like the "Green Card" and the "Ich-AG" by which he forced hundreds of thousands of unemployed straight into government-inflicted and -funded poverty.

His predecessor in office will rub his hands now, these developments never having been able to happen during his three and a half terms of office. At least he can score not to have botched the German reunification, being absolutely caught trousers down by the rapid development. At least, he succeeded in selling Germany to the Euro, just to add a drop of vitriol to the sweet milk of freedom from Socialism.

With outstanding compassion I am looking at his true and faithful Sancho Pansa, a. k. a. Joseph "Joschka" Fischer. He will, as kaishaku-nin, have to follow his master in his political seppuku. His own party which more often than not has tried to back-stab him, will now be deprived of the triumph of stabbing the too successful party leader on the staircase of the senate. What a pity, they will be reduced to being each other's ghoul in the hind ranks of fundamental opposition.

At least, Ulla Schmidt, Secretary for Health etc, had managed to console her most faithful civil servants with raise and promotion, both equally hasty and generous.

What remains is the consolation that Schröder's successors, no matter which party or sex, will find the stage prepared where they can fight theatrically about Schröder's heritage. The problems our country suffers from, such as hypertrophical bureaucrazy, EU absurdities as the idiocy to force twenty-five states or thirty-odd nations under the rule of one super state, none of his successors will be able to resolve. All who are running for office today have already contributed their fair share to exacerbate these problems instead of providing a real cure.

"The government governs best" said Thoreau "that governs least". In that way, here might be hope for a change to the better: a former Secretary of Defence, who could not even defend himself, preferred to go on a vacation trip with his latest mistress instead of exacerbating another artificial crisis by his presence.

I humbly ask for a constitutional amendment: any elected official must be required to spend at least 95% of his term in paid vacation outside of the EU. We'd gladly pay our taxes for that. But as long as megalomanic bureaucrats tend to bother us with a tsunami of superfluous and stupid laws, we won't elect you any more. Imagine, you're smiling down from all those billboards, kiss little kids—and nobody cares....


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