L. Neil Smith's
Number 331, August 7, 2005

"Stop meddling in other people's business"

TSA: Sexual Battery Is A Perk, Not A Crime
by Francis A Ney, Jr.
Travel Gestapo Editor

Exclusive to TLE

The horrors of travel by commercial airline these days are legion, the vast majority a result of our government's tendencies to ignore civil rights and punish the victims in place of the perpetrators. To the piles of nail clippers, cigar punchers and other so-called "weapons" stolen in plain sight, more expensive items stolen from luggage behind the wall, passengers placed on the no-fly list for having bread knives and the like in their carry-on, and numerous indignities to include punishing travelers for their choice of reading material and forcing a nursing mother to drink her own breast milk, we now add the case of Phyllis Dintenfass.

Ms. Dintenfass needed to travel, and unfortunately chose to fly on a commercial airline. That was her first mistake. Her second was to wear an underwire bra. When the magnetometer bounced Ms. Dintenfass to secondary screening, the cretin manning the station started the usual routine with the wand. When the wand detected the underwire, instead of thinking "okay, that's an underwire" the aforementioned cretin started playing with Ms. Dintenfass breasts.

Now, I'm the first to admit that I was raised in a different world than the creatures hired by the three-lies-in-one Transportation Security Agency. If I touched a strange woman's breasts the least I would expect would be that woman's hand across my face, if not arrest and criminal charges. However, government-paid perverts are immune from such things, as we will see.

Ms. Dintenfass was understandably incensed that this total stranger would think that it was right and proper to touch an intimate part of her body, particularly without dinner and a movie beforehand. So in a display of righteous indignation that we can all sympathize with and be proud of, she grabbed the aforementioned TSA cretin's breasts and said "How would you like it if I did that to you?"

As we all know, standing up to the tyrants that attempt to control our lives means the tyrants get to completely ruin our lives as an alternative. Ms. Dintenfass was arrested and charged with assaulting a federal agent, a crime that can result in a year in jail and a $100,000 fine. Never mind that this pervert, in the course of "official duties" so-called, engaged in a felony: sexual battery.

With the help of a stacked jury of twelve, the feral government has made clear that disrespect of their employees will not be tolerated regardless of provocation or criminal acts. Sentencing will take place in the middle of August. "Welcome to our new secure society", a friend of Ms. Dintenfass said.

It should come as a great relief to those perverts cleverly disguised as federal employees at airports that their perversions are not only legal, but encouraged by their employer. Apparently our only response allowed by the government is to give them less opportunity to act on their perversions by refusing to fly. They might get the message around the time the airline version of AMTRAK is implemented.

While we're at it, we might vote with our tourist dollars as well in an "Anywhere But New York City" campaign. Unless you like having to put up with random searches and the NYPD pointing big guns at your tour bus, that is.

Frank is a freelance computer consultant and professional gadfly. His main hobbies are guns, computers, ham radio and libertarian politics. He lives in West Virginia, along with his SO of nine years, a number of horses, a labradoodle puppy and a cat that thinks he has 6 legs. He occasionally entertains antlered rats (aka whitetail deer), foxes, turkeys, woodpeckers and pheasant just because they show up for the free food. When he can he volunteers with the local fire department as an EMT.


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