L. Neil Smith's
Number 338, September 25, 2005

"Listening to the Libertarians Yapping"

Libertarians: The Connies Speak Out (Part One)
by L. Neil Smith

Exclusive to TLE

I have been accused—and I didn't like it much—of saying that the people of the United States are sleeping. All that we libertarians (or Marxists or Georgists or Monarchists or Nudists or Flat-Earthists or Anti-Darwinists) need to do to achieve victory over the Forces of Evil (whoever they happen to be at the moment) is to awaken our fellow countrymen (and our countrywomen, too) from their deep and dangerous slumber.

Now in fact, I've never said anything even remotely like that. It's just part of the argumentative style of the guy who made the accusation (he's a novelist, and he'd want me to mention his name) to invent positions for you on various issues and then try to bamboozle you into defending them, a technique I don't think I ever fell for, even in grade school. I dismissed him and I haven't heard from him since.

The other day, however, I had an experience that made me wonder if that view wasn't right, after all, about one subculture of Americans in particular, those who continue, despite the dictates of history—not to mention good taste—to label themselves "conservative". And since conservatives have shown over the past several years that they have no real interest in individual liberty, but merely represent a right-wing variety of socialism, I think it's appropriate to call them "connies"

What happened is that I heard from a friend that he had posted an essay of mine "on an ostensibly pro-RKBA, heavily Republican gun forum". For those unfamiliar with the acronym, "RKBA" stands for the "Right to Keep and Bear Arms", referring to the Second Amendment. I greatly prefer to modernize a hackneyed phrase that otherwise seems to fall on cliche-deafened ears, by saying "the right to own and carry weapons".

He continued, "Thought I'd forward a couple of the responses."

The particular essay in question, "Why Did It Have To Be Guns?", has been a favorite feature of my personal website, "The Webley Page" for years. I've asked editor Ken Holder to run it in this week's Enterprise so you can see what started the flap.

Back already?

Okay, keep in mind the gist of the essay: my contention that you can learn practically anything you need to know about a politician from his respect—or lack thereof—for your right to own and carry weapons.

"What has been working," read the first so-called response to my essay, "is the Conservative strategy of wearing down and defeating the Liberal establishment through a continuous campaign on all fronts against their ideology, performance, and political and news media dominance."

Aside from the fact that this wasn't really a response to my essay at all (it seemed a lot more to me like a defensive knee-jerk reaction to the myriad and conspicuous failures of Republican politicians to stand up properly for the Second Amendment over the past few decades), do you see what I mean about connies being sound asleep? Either that, or they're all higher than ... higher than ... an appropriate metaphor appears to be escaping me, here ... I've got it: higher than Rush Limbaugh.

What this writer is attempting to describe, in any case, is not a conservative strategy, not at all, but one developed during the 19th century by English Fabian socialists, including H.G. Wells, George Bernard Shaw, Sydney and Beatrice Webb, and a great many illustrious others.

Even if that didn't happen to be true, what is it that these connnies are wearing down and defeating, exactly? Thanks to the likes of Richard "I Am Not A Crook" Nixon (who considered private ownership of firearms "an abomination") and the inappropriately sainted Ronald Reagan, the all-consuming State today is bigger, more powerful, and more voracious than ever. And one way or another, every bit of it is the work of the cowards, cretins, and crazies who call themselves conservatives, whose self-congratulatory campaign against the liberal establishment seems to consist of little besides becoming liberals, themselves.

Let's stick with the fundamental right to own and carry weapons, since it was on a gun forum that this antilibertarian flatulence was posted. Who made the Brady Bill and the late, unlamented Ugly Gun ban possible? None other than the Republican Party, under the viagratic leadership of Senator Brady Bill-Bob Dole, who gave the Clintonistas a pass on rules of procedure that would have otherwise stopped them cold. For ten years, as a consequence, liberty hung in limbo—and hangs in limbo even yet—thanks specifically to the connies who now have the baldfaced temerity to claim it was all part of some grand strategy.

Sure: the "strategy" of betraying principle, toadying to creatures like Bill Clinton, who would be powerless without enthusiastic connie help.

"It's a slow process," our correspondent declares pontifically, somehow failing to notice (or acknowledge) that it's also a process presently running in reverse, away from the individual freedom that connies used to claim they desired. "But the only alternative is listening to the Libertarians yapping while the Liberals control the USA."

So that's the problem! The poor connies don't like our "yapping". They don't appreciate any individual impolite and impolitic enough to remind them that they're lying phonies who have now managed to inflict more catastrophic damage on what the Founding Fathers accomplished than any left-winger ever dreamed of in his wildest McGovernistic imagination.

They probably hate our mentioning the way their foreign policy, driven by mercantilist lust for somebody else's property, brought on the attack on the World Trade Center, or their so-called Patriot Act, which would make Adolf Hitler green with envy, or their thousands of spy cameras on the streets, twice as thick as in the old movie 1984, or their midnight arrests and abductions—following the Abe Lincoln playbook, line by jackbooted line—of American citizens and others never properly accused, let alone convicted of any crime, or their concentration camps and torture dungeons hidden in friendly foreign dictatorships.

They don't want us "yapping" while what they're really "wearing down and defeating" is the Bill of Rights, through their "continuous campaign on all fronts" against freedom of communication, freedom of assembly, freedom of religion, sexual and reproductive freedom, the right to travel freely without being molested by hired thugs, personal and financial privacy, and, yes, the individual right to own and carry weapons.

Never forget Ronald Reagan's support for the Brady Bill, named to honor his old flunky, or George Senior's campaign diatribe against a tiny .22 revolver, or George Junior's promise to sign a renewal of the Adequate Magazine ban if his left wing allies ever managed to get it passed.

Connies want us libertarians to stop "yapping". And I suppose if I were heavily invested in the relentless Nazification of what was once the freest civilization in the world, I'd want exactly the same thing, myself.

Wouldn't you?

I seem to recall somebody saying, "When the enemy screams "Foul!" the loudest, you know you're doing him the most damage." Now who could that possibly have been? Oh yeah, it was me! In my essay, "Tactical Reflections" in my book Lever Action. And to that, I'll add now that the more conservatives whimper, the more we libertarians know we're right.

So I guess we'll just keep yapping until the connies wake up.


Four-time Prometheus Award-winner L. Neil Smith is the author of 25 books, including The American Zone, Forge of the Elders, Pallas, The Probability Broach, Hope (w/Aaron Zelman), and his collected articles and speeches, Lever Action, all of which may be purchased through his website "The Webley Page" www.lneilsmith.org. Ceres, an exciting sequel to Neil's 1993 Ngu family novel Pallas was recently completed and is looking for a literary home.

A decensored, e-published version of Neil's 1984 novel, TOM PAINE MARU is now available online: http://payloadz.com/go/sip?id=137991.

Neil is presently working on Ares, the middle volume of the epic Ngu Family Cycle, and on Roswell, Texas, with Rex F. "Baloo" May. The stunning 185-page full-color graphic-novelized version of The Probability Broach, which features the art of Scott Bieser and was published by BigHead Press www.bigheadpress.com has recently won a Special Prometheus Award. It may be had through the publisher, at www.Amazon.com, or at billofrightsPress.com.


America's Leading Sporting Goods Discounter
Cheaper Than Dirt!

Help Support TLE by patronizing our advertisers and affiliates.
We cheerfully accept donations!

to advance to the next article
to return to the previous article
Table of Contents
to return to The Libertarian Enterprise, Number 338, September 25, 2005