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Eat More Polar Bear
(The Feature Article)

 L. Neil Smith's 
Simon Jester
Simon Jester
The Libertarian Enterprise
A Feature of
A Reader Supported Web Magazine

Simon Jester
Simon Jester


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Big Head Press

Number 411, April 1, 2007

"It's the business of mass media to distract Americans
from everything that's actually important."

The Superglue Incident
The Superglue Incident

TPM cover thumnail
Tom Paine Maru
by L. Neil Smith
Cover by Scott Bieser
First uncensored edition.
Originally published by Del Rey Books, 1984.
Adobe Acrobat PDF file, 1,845,243-bytes, 283 pages.
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Even though this is our "April Fool" issue, I must tell you we don't do "April Fool Jokes". Why not? Because they're never funny. There may be something in the world worse than a not-funny joke, but I can't say what it is. However, we do have picture of a fool up above. Of course, the planet is run by fools. How did that happen I wonder?

It is also not a joke that we're out of money, but not out of bills and expenses. Please, Readers, donate some of your hard-earned cash to the support of this Reader-Supported eMagazine. This link lists the ways:

Surely this magazine is worth something to you? And thank you very much in advance!

Ken Holder


Letters to the Editor
from Don Childers and Rex May

Eat More Polar Bear
by L. Neil Smith
Unless you're Helen Keller falling in a forest, you know all about "Cute Knut", a baby polar bear in the Berlin Zoo, and the center of the most absurd controversy to show up on my laptop for a season or three.

Nullification Re-visited, part One.
by Robert F. Hawes Jr.
Recent debates over sweeping new federal laws have re-ignited old quarrels concerning the proper constitutional role of the federal government and the rights and reserved powers of the states. As a case-in-point, on February 1, 2007, the Montana State House of Representatives unanimously passed two bills condemning the federal REAL ID Act as an improper use of federal legislative power. Both bills were designed to exempt Montana from the Act; however, the bill introduced by Representative Diane Rice of Harrison, Montana, went a step further, stipulating that, "the legislature of the state of Montana hereby nullifies the REAL ID Act of 2005, as it would apply in this state".

Rant—Feeling "Oogie"
by Jay P. Hailey
About two years ago, a person coined that term in a different context. Nevertheless, it's a very descriptive word. He meant it to describe the feeling we get when we feel uncomfortable, faintly creepy, and unpleasant. Oogie.

Bringing Stuff On Airplanes
by Jonathan David Morris
It seems like the Transportation Security Administration really put a lot of thought into which items they decided to ban from airplanes. I was checking out their guidelines the other day before making a trip for St. Patrick's Day Weekend. Unfortunately, you can no longer fly with rolled-up tubes of toothpaste. On the other hand, there's no limit to the number of prosthetic breasts you may pack.

How Many Guns Do You Need?
by Ron Beatty
I suppose that we've all seen articles from both sides of the issue, from both die-hard RKBA supporters and from the most fervent of the sheeple, bleating that guns are evil. I have to admit that I tend to lean far toward the RKBA side of the issue, but I thought I'd just throw my two cents into the debate.

Would You Like to get to Know the Real Life in Cuba?
by Matúš Pošvanc
"You must leave the logic at the airport!" That was the perfect description of Cuba provided by one Cuban to us. And I didn't expect at that time how deep those words would be written in my memory. They immediately came back after two weeks staying in Cuba. We were sitting in the return plane and watching documentary movie which should remain this country to tourists on the board. The movie showed the atmosphere of Cuba. Women sitting next to me waved in every Cuban tone and had a lot of fun. One of them was dressed in Che (Guevara) T-shirt and another one had a military cap with a red star on it. The movie described the typical tourist picture of Cuba: beautiful beaches, cheap services, pretty young women, bronze skin, Tropicana and unforgettable Cuban songs. Yes, all this you can experienc on this mystic island. After all Cuba is the pearl of the Antilles, the island of the tropical green, tasty cocktails, famous cigars and beautiful women. But I also saw some different pictures there. Really different ones.

History's Table of Context
by Lady Liberty
As all of you doubtless know, a movie entitled 300 recently opened to huge box office success and reasonable critical reviews. Most of the raves are coming courtesy of some truly phenomenal Computer Generated Imagery (CGI) which, with 300, has reached a pinnacle many of us couldn't have imagined even a few years ago. But some heavy promotion of the film is also coming from those of us who are fans of freedom.

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2007 Issues
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