Big Head Press

L. Neil Smith's
Number 499, December 28, 2008

"New Tribunals held in Nuremberg, Pennsylvania"

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Cabin Fever?
by Dave Earnest
earnest_dave -+at+-

Attribute to The Libertarian Enterprise

Fellow Prisoners! Merry (insert your deity here)-Damn Winter Solstice and shit.

The weather outside has been a balmy 25°F for the last week. What with globular warming leaving 22-inches of proof positive that pesky humans are fuckin' up the environment! I mean really it's (insert your deity here)-damn December in Oregon how can it possibly snow? It almost never happens! (Only) every 7 or 8 years, (1968,1974,1982,1990,1996,2002, 2008) we get a Pineapple Express smash head on to a Chinook from BC/Alberta. Dumping mountains of that (insert your deity here)-damned snow on us and snarling traffic because some transplanted Kalifornia soccer Mom's/Dad's are too fucking spastic (Hi SISin law in Boulder!) to talk on the cell phone, drink coffee, eat an egg McMuffy, and control their tubby, indigo child, future statist fucktard children AND drive in 2 inches of melted slush. That and those quark snorting(insert your deity here)-damned Canaliens fuckin' with the weather by acting all smug and superior and using their non catalytic woodburning stoves grandfathered in by the socialist state.

Meanwhile the socialists down here are Flogging Dan Kamen, mild mannered Nobel Prize winner, Al Gore buttboy and wunderkin of the Science(NON FICTION) Channel gives us ~44minutes of considered and chatter provoking bullshit about carbon sequestration. Making me long for unbathed Englanders drinking Watneys' Red barrel singing Torremolinos! Torremolinos! Whoops! that was BBC America I dos(Z)ed off on valium and painkillers when the channel changed. I had programmed my entire day of brain damage with the remote early in the morning ~0400 it was now 1340. All this shit runs together after being stuck in this house for 6 fuckin daze. I re-read our peerless Publisher In Situ's Venus Belt, Wardove, Henry Martyn, Bretta Martyn, Forge of the Elders, Brightsuit MacBear, The Mitzvah, and Lever Action. I can't wait to read Phoebus Krumm and Ares!

I love books I had to sell so many old friends when I was "downsized", "RIFed", and otherwise found to be redundant by the Powers That Boogy (with your cash). And enjoy that crapshoot that is subsidized medicine in the 21st century. I replaced them with ebooks from all over the web. Most I paid for, some I traded for. I am deeply grateful for the generosity of L Neil Smith to take time out of his busy day to make sure I got a readable copy of Tom Paine Maru, Ceres and Roswell, Texas followed later.

I purchased new copies of TPB and The American Zone, I have read everything Neil has ever written more than 3 times. Is it because I am a fawning fanboy? Not fuckin likely. It's because they remind me that the world need not be as fucked up as it is if we don't want it to be. That's the only reason I can come up with why the world is the way it is. It is because "we" collectively WANT it that way. There are slightly over 300 million people now between the arbitrary and purely fictitious boundaries to our north and south. The same way "WE" accept the status quo because "we" belive that's the way it is and that's all it'll ever be.

Fuck that.

Thanks Neil! I'm moving to the Confederacy by force of will. Hopefully, unless one of the deists turns out to be right and I'm destined to wander towards perdition. In any event I'm gonna go molest a willing 12 year old...

...BOTTLE OF SCOTCH you sicko assholes!

Bimart has 55grain .223 Remington for $7.48 a box (20rd)!

9mm, 38/.357, AND .45acp for $89.95 250rd Monday packs!

Cheaper 'n Prozac and fewer side affects for me anyway... hehehehe.


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