Big Head Press

L. Neil Smith's
Number 565, April 11, 2010

"Fifty Ways to Leave Big Brother"

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Two Songs
revised by Jim Davidson

Special to The Libertarian Enterprise

"Fifty ways to leave your lover" is a song by Paul Simon from the album "Still Crazy After All these Years." It was re-released in July 2004, digitally re-mastered, by Warner Brothers. Various rights reserved.


Below are lyrics from the song modified by me and some of my friends, complete with extra chorus lines just for fun. You might like it better this way. I call the revision:

Fifty Ways to Leave Big Brother

"The problem is all inside your head", she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave big brother.

She said it's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave the state
Fifty ways to leave the state.

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just set yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the shackles, Lee
And get yourself free

She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways

She said why don't we both just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning you'll begin to see the light.
And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to leave Big Brother.
Fifty ways to leave Big Brother.

Free your mind. Free yourself.

Mess with the camera, Sarah.
Unlock a few gates, mate.
Hacksaw off the chain, Cain.
Flip 'em the bird, Kurt,
And get yerself FREE.

Knock off a pig, Sig.
Make a jail break, Jake.
Hide a pot farm, Sharm.
Spray paint the A, Ray,
And make yourself free!

Mutual aid doc, Spock,
Black market code, Node;
Privacy net, Jet;
Crypto e-mail, Gale—
Govern yourself free.

Don't pay a tax, Max
Smoke up your plant, Grant
Don't sell them your soul, Cole
Get off the grid, Sid
And let yourself be free.

I'm writing this down, Brown
Copy and paste, Baste
Rip it to bitTorrent, Florence
Just do your own rhyme, Sime.
And set yourself free!


For an encore presentation, "It ain't me pig." From the song "It ain't me babe." Inspired by the film "Walk the Line."

Original lyrics for "It ain't me babe" by Bob Dylan, presumably copyright and otherwise encumbered by the state on behalf of the artist, the recording studio, etc.

It Ain't Me, Pig

Go away from my window
Leave at your own chosen speed
I'm not the one you want, pig
I'm not the one you need.

You say you're lookin' for someone
Who's done something very wrong
To harm the state and "people"
Whether you are right or wrong
Someone to hide behind each and every door

But it ain't me pig
No, no, no, it ain't me pig
It ain't me you're lookin' for, pig.

Go lightly from the ledge, pig
Fall quickly to the ground
I'm not the one you want, pig
I'll only let you down
You say you're lookin' for someone
Who'll promise to go quietly
Someone to close his eyes to you
Someone to stop his heart
Someone to die for you and more

But it ain't me pig
No, no, no, it ain't me pig
It ain't me you're lookin' for, pig.

You say you're lookin' for someone
To take the blame and take the fall
To gather bruises constantly
And to come each time you call
And will love you for your job
And nothin' more

But it ain't me pig
No, no, no, it ain't me pig
It ain't me you're lookin' for, pig.

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Pay to Jim Davidson

Jim Davidson is an author, entrepreneur, and anti-war activist. His 1990 venture to offer a sweepstakes trip into space was destroyed by government action as was his free port and prospective space port in Somalia in 2001. His 2002-2007 venture in free market money and private stock exchange was destroyed by government action in 2007. He's going to Mars if he has to walk. His second book, Being Sovereign is now availble from Lulu and Amazon. His third book Sovereign Self-Defence will be released for Kindle very soon. His fourth book Being Libertarian will be available for free download as a .pdf, being a compilation of all his essays and letters in "The Libertarian Enterprise" since 1995. Contact him at or


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