Down With Power Audiobook!

L. Neil Smith's
Number 813, March 15, 2015

[Police] are not our friends, no matter
what the NRA or anyone says. They are the
pointy end of the spear of dictatorship.
They are exactly the standing army that
the Founding Fathers didn't want.

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The Elephant in the Parlor
by L.Neil Smith

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Attribute to L. Neil Smith's The Libertarian Enterprise

Somebody has to say it.

Everybody has been dancing around it nervously for weeks, each and every one of them desperately afraid of ... what? I don't know exactly what: the plain truth, I guess, political and historical. We all speak so easily about the highly abstract reasons for respecting the Second Amendment—to keep an overly ambitious (but hypothetical) government in check. How? Through the ability to put great, big .69 caliber holes right through the pretty red coats of King George's Imperial Stormtroopers.

This, however, as the slimy and disgusting predatory left is so fond of constantly reminding us, is no longer the Eighteenth century. How true. The coats in question are no longer red, they're fashionable camouflage. And the bullets through them are not .69 caliber, they're .22s.

Yet the fundamental principal behind the Second Amendment is exactly the same as it always was. We uppity peasants and serfs get to keep our peace, freedom, progress, and prosperity only at the cost of constantly being able to neutralize the forces of Authority in the field. There isn't any help for it. We didn't arrange things in that barbaric, primitive, savage way, Authority did. The Founding Fathers understood that all too well, and so they did their very damnedest to protect the right of the individual to own and carry weapons. It's just a bloody shame their damnedest didn't include a penalty clause to severely punish anybody in the government who violated the Bill of Rights.

I read a headline this morning to the effect that the vomitous United Nations perceives defenders of freedom—that's you and me -- as a greater threat to the status quo than any self-proclaimed terrorists or jihadists. And I'm disgustedly familiar with the charge that the world's real villains are those who supported Ron Paul. You will pardon my Anglo-Saxon when I say I'm fucking sick and tired, whenever I manifest a willingness and ability to retain control over my own life and all its products, of being accused by various unconstitutional bloodsucking collectivist scum of being a homicidal maniac.

I'm even sicker of various elements of my "own" side who think that they're ten times brighter than they really are, and can bargain with these destroyers of liberty. The depressing fact is that we're in this mess right now (here's another elephant in the parlor that nobody wants to talk about) because the hapless simpletons of the National Rifle Association traded away our right to own and carry armor-piercing ammunition for the privilege (which was actually an inalienable right) to buy ammunition through the mail. Some of us tried to tell them this was a rotten deal. As usual, they didn't listen.

I have a good friend who, years ago, tried to start a campaign to send the Congress balls—two golf balls in the toe of a pair of pantyhose. It was splendidly obscence. Maybe we should send hearing aids to the NRA—although it certainly wouldn't make them any smarter.

So let's get this straight, right now. Here's the elephant nobody wants to talk about: the purpose of the Second Amendment is that we should be able to kill anybody who tries to crush individual liberty. If they wear armor (which should be a felony for the cops) we shoot armor-piercing. They are not our friends, no matter what the NRA or anyone says. They are the pointy end of the spear of dictatorship. They are exactly the standing army that the Founding Fathers didn't want.

Now, just in case there's some badge-heavy mouth-breather out there somewhere, having this column read to him, or at least having the big words explained, who would love to accuse me of some trumped- up crime, allow me to point out that this is an essay about peace and civil order. I have not advocated killing or even injuring anyone, or overthrowing any part of our demicidal, power-hungry government. I have called merely for the uniform and consistent enforcement of the Highest Law of the Land. I have advocated no more than the Rule of Law.

Which we haven't had a lot of, recently.

Look: before the thugs and goons of the DHS and the TSA were foisted on Americans, this was a safe and relatively happy country. Forgive me if my attitude is colored, to a point, by the what set my course during the War in Vietnam. Before the actual unpleasantness, I might have had a pleasant and civilized cup of tea with Ho Chi Minh, and in any case, he was much too far away to do me any harm. Not so LBJ, and I couldn't have trusted him not to poison my bourbon and branch.

Want things to get better? Obey the law—the real law. Abolish the DHS, the TSA, and all the rest of the three-letter agencies that try to control our lives. Any libertarian can supply you with a list. Be sure and throw in the FCC, which has now threatens to roll human civilization back 1000 years. Eliminate the BATFE and give its powers to nobody. Government was never meant to have them in the first place.

Do that, abolish the IRS, we'll be the richest, most progressive nation on the Earth again. China won't be able to see us through our dust.

Oh, yes. And never forget: the elephant is really a jackass.

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