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Number 1,092 & 1,093, November 15, 2020


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The Funnel of Love
by L. Neil Smith
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Malfeasance, misfeasance, non-feasance, up-feasance, and down-feasance. A thing that calls itself Katie Hobbs is rumored to be the Arizona Secretary of State, elected or appointed, I don’t know and don’t care. “A difference that makes no difference.” as Mr. Spock once famously put it*,“is no difference.” This Katie Hobbs thing has asserted in our faces that there was nothing much wrong with the 2020 Presidential election in that state, even though, as the situation continues to be scrutinized, fewer and fewer of China Joe’s votes appear to be valid or legal, and more and more of Trump’s are substantiated. The President, on the contrary, says he won the state handily and I am inclined to believe him.

We do owe this Katie Hobbs thing a deep debt of gratitude for at least one small favor, however. It has demonstrated clearly to us how what we call (sheerly by courtesy) the liberal mind works. STEP ONE: put your head in the microwave. STEP TWO: liquify whatever brain you had. STEP THREE: pour your liquified brain out of one ear. STEP FOUR: put a funnel in your other ear. STEP FTVE: pour in all the Snopes that you can get. Talk about living in a bubble, this Katie Hobbs thing is so far out of touch with contemporary culture that it doesn’t seem to have noticed yet, or comprehended, that nobody with an IQ higher than his hat-size has believed a syllable the heavily left-leaning Snopes has had to say for at least two years. Fox, henhouse, ’nuff said.

For reasons best known only to itself, this Katie Hobbs thing has utterly hated, loathed, despised, and feared Donald Trump and his achievements for years, reserving a special distaste for his beautiful and accomplished family, calling him and his loyal supporters all kinds of nasty names that even Hillary Clinton didn’t think of, and, like everybody to the left of Hubert Horatio Humphrey (look him up), repeating their own vile lies about him and them, over and over and over again like an evil mantra until they believe them themselves and are shocked that nobody else does. Anyone with two little gray cells to rub together. It doesn’t seem to have noticed that we have long-since adopted Hillary’s epithet “deplorables” as a badge of honor. For some hilarious reason, this Katie Hobbs thing was breathlessly outraged that Trump supporters actually wear Trump hoodies and t-shirts … to airports! How dare they!

It occurs to me that you might wonder why I have chosen to focus on one single little miserable incompetent and crooked Flyover Country bureau-rat, when the Donald and those of us who support him have plenty of more important and effective enemies to contend with right now. Hey, it’s only one essay; I write hundreds every year. Consider it practice, if you will, for Lori Lightfoot. And I’m doing what I can do, making sure that nobody ever names their innocent baby daughter Katie again, or, if their name happens to be Hobbs, they’ll want to legally change it to avoid the shame. What do you suppose ever happened to all those folks named Hitler?

I will admit to hoping that this Katie Hobbs thing will be humiliated enough to resign and look for more suitable employment, perhaps in the fast food industry. This Katie Hobbs thing may not figure very highly in the Coronavirus Tribunals of 2023 (A famous Italian war criminal, dictator, and mass-murderer, greatly fearful of public hanging for his many crimes, poisoned himself to death, whereupon his former followers dragged his body out of its cell, hung it up by its heels, and beat it like a pinata until parts fell off. You may be surprised to learn that it was not Andrew Cuomo. But I digress.), but it can do the proper English or Japanese thing, take a Webley revolver with one fat .455 caliber cartridge, or a large, slightly-curved knife, go into the other room, close the door, and do what’s right.

The world will be a better, cleaner place for it.

Where We Go 1, We Go All.

* In James Blish’s Spock Must Die



L. Neil Smith

Award-winning writer L. Neil Smith is Publisher and Senior Columnist of L. Neil Smith’s The Libertarian Enterprise and author of over thirty books. Look him up on Google, Wikipedia, and He is available at professional rates, to write for your organization, event, or publication, fiercely defending your rights, as he has done since the mid-60s. His writings (and e-mail address) may be found at L. Neil Smith’s The Libertarian Enterprise, at or at Patreon. His many books and those of other pro-gun libertarians may be found (and ordered) at L. Neil Smith’s THE LIBERTARIAN ENTERPRISE “Free Radical Book Store” The preceding essay was originally prepared for and appeared in L. Neil Smith’s THE LIBERTARIAN ENTERPRISE. Use it to fight the continuing war against tyranny.

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