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A Tax I Could Learn to Love
Dick Wetherbee
gulfporttax@aol.com

Attribute to The Libertarian Enterprise

Congress is debating whether it should tax cigarettes more in order to help children's health care. This child would love it. Tax 'em to the moon.

Right this minute I can buy cigarettes for 30 pesos a carton in Merida. A tad less than 30 US cents a pack at today's exchange rate.

There is a beach bar in Chelem where you can lie in a hammock, drink rum and coconut water and wait for a flat calm day. A moderately powered 18 footer on such a day can make the run to Cockroach Bay in less than 12 hours. An 18-foot fiberglass boat is practically invisible to radar. Only the motor makes a blip. The wake shows up on satellite but, generally, no one checks it in real time.

Right now, I know where you can get two 225 mercs for $1500. Solid (used) 18 ft center console hulls go for $2-3k all over Florida.

At present, few people go to prison for smuggling cigarettes. That will change. The bad guys will discover there is money to be made and it will be time for little guys to get out of the business. I figure about a 2-year window for those who love adventure and like to make a few bucks but would prefer to stay out of prison.

Rock bottom wholesale should be at least $5000 a load, tax-free profit.

Even if you only run when conditions are perfect, if you are moderately sober you should be able to make at least 20 runs a year.

You could bump the profit a bit by smuggling used power tools to Mexico on the return run but that would be crappin' where you live. I advise against it.

Bottom line?

Costs:
Boat & motor—$5k to $10k
Mexican FM3 visa (not required, but helpful) $500 in fees and bribes
Beginning inventory—at least $2000
Tip well, buy the beach cops a few drinks, sponsor a soccer team, join the Lions club—$1000.

Rewards:
$100k a year for 2 to 3 years.

Perks:
Great tan
Stories to tell your grand kids
Intimate knowledge of the Straits of Yucatan that will serve you well in your future, legitimate, job—boat delivery.

Higher taxes and fewer CG cutters is what we need.

I thought about trying for anonymity but that is hardly possible these days so I am,

Dick Wetherbee

Dick Wetherbee has the least impressive captain's license it is possible to get and has been thrown out of every university he attended.

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