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Next Nobel Laureate: Jack Kevorkian?
by David F. Nolan
dfn@alum.mit.edu

Attribute to The Libertarian Enterprise

By awarding its once-coveted Peace Prize to Barack Obama, the Nobel Prize committee has revealed its own intellectual bankruptcy. Supposedly, this award is intended to recognize people who have contributed significantly to world peace, either for one spectacular achievement or a lifetime of continuing contributions to that cause. Obama does not qualify by either measure; he is a Chicago pol who got lucky, and today occupies the White House mostly because of revulsion at his immediate predecessor.

Thus, it is time for the Nobel Prize Committee to acknowledge what its "Peace Prize" has become: a reward for meting out death. Yassir Arafat is a terrorist, pure and simple. Henry Kissinger is a lifelong schemer on behalf of boot-on-the-neck rulers. Al Gore's is a crusader for anti-industrial policies that will impoverish millions and lead to untold deaths in the future. Obama is prosecuting not one, but two wars—and thinking about maybe starting a third.

Of course, in its own way, death is the ultimate form of peace. Death brings an end to conflict, turmoil and pain. Eulogies of departed souls often allude to their having "found peace." So why not just face up to it and give the 2010 Peace Prize to a man widely known as "Dr. Death"— assisted suicide enabler Jack Kevorkian. Who better exemplifies the ideals of the Nobel Prize Committee at this point? Unlike past recipients of the Nobel Peace Prize, Dr. Kevorkian has been a hands-on provider of this ultimate "peace." He hasn't just talked about it; he's actually killed people.

This alone should qualify him for the Nobel Peace Prize, but there are other factors to be considered as well.

Most notably, he's spent time in prison—just like Nelson Mandela, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, and that guy in Chile or Ecuador whose name momentarily escapes me. Everybody loves a martyr!

And Dr. K is an artist, too! Many people are unaware of this, but he's a painter and a jazz musician. You can buy his jazz CD "A Very Still Life" on Amazon for about $15.

And finally, it's about time someone of Armenian descent was given a Nobel Prize. We need more diversity in the Nobel Prize club!

But of course, the main reason why this man deserves to have his name listed on the same page as Arafat, Kissinger, Gore and Obama is that he represents death in its most iconic form. By awarding the Peace Prize to Dr. Kevorkian, the Nobel Prize Committee will be showing its true colors for all the world to see.

If you found this to be funny, you might also enjoy another of Mr. Nolan's recent satirical essays at www.nolanchart.com/article6707.html

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