Attribute to L. Neil Smith’s The Libertarian Enterprise

I had originally planned to spend the back end of this week writing a whizz-bang piece on one of any number of topics that badly need addressing. Instead, I profligately elected to consume my time and energy writing my current novel, Rosalie’s World, a fourth Ngu family story—involving Wilson Ngu, Jasmeen Khalidov Ngu and lovely Tieve Fallon Ngu, also former Olympic champions Morgan Trask and Llyra Ngu Trask and their rapidly growing family—this one about humanity’s first settlement of an extra-solar planet, named after Emerson’s wife, Rosalie Frazier Ngu. I like all these people very much and greatly enjoy spending my days with them. You would, too.

Had I dutifully written an article, the first thing I would have talked about is the so-called “bump stock ban”. A bump stock, in case you don’t know, is an aftermarket accessory which uses recoil energy to emulate full automatic rates of fire in semiautomatic weapons. I have no personal use for these things—I want real automatic weapons, like the Czech Model 61 Skorpion and the M2 Carbine, completely legalized— and they are horribly inaccurate.

The pantsless authorities don’t like them, either, and they were apparently used in the Las Vegas mass shooting (we don’t know for sure because there’s been a massive and disgusting cover-up), but no legal authority exists to outlaw them, especially by fiat—just as there was never any legitimate authority to outlaw fully automatic weapons in the first place—and the officials who have done so are criminals and need to be put in jail for at least twenty years.

Period.

Much the same is true of so-called “red flag laws” which assert a lawful power that the authorities don’t possess to steal legally-owned property—effective firearms—from people they don’t approve of for one bullshit reason or another. The jackbooted thugs come around and threaten to smash into your house if you don’t abrogate your rights “voluntarily”.

Molon labe.

These laws defeat the whole purpose of the Second Amendment. If there had been red flag laws for the Redcoats to rely on, there never would have been an American Revolution, and we’d all still be speaking with a cheesy English accent.The shambling incompetents and drooling morons and moral retards of Congress and the nation’s state legislatures—those who introduce, pass, and enforce these laws—must be made to pay dearly for their encroachments against the Constitution. They are criminal traitors.

There are hundreds of the bastards, if not thousands, and they must all spend the rest of their misbegotten lives in prison. Alcatraz will do.

As long as these fake laws stand, and individuals are persecuted undder them, they are a dangerous and unnecessary threat to Donald Trump’s reelection in 2020. Are you listening, you damned deaf, dumb, blind, and stupid Republicans? Especially here in Colorado? Other felony prosecutions must be carried out—by Peoples’ Grand Juries—under Title 18 of the U.S. Code, Sections 241 and 242: depriving citizens of their rights “under color of law”. Otherwise, recall, impeachment, and boycott (of businesses owned by politicians and of states where they’ve had their evil way) offer remedies.

A third topic I was going to pursue is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s New Green Deal. Or Green New Deal. Whatever. I was simply going to point out that I once heard Cher (who recently whined something to the effect of, “Why can’t we just outlaw AR-15s?) on a late night talk show, admit that she was a grown woman, and married, before she realized that Mount Rushmore is not a natural phenomenon. And Cher is genius, compared to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

The answer to your question, Cher, you ignorant slut, is that AR-15s are the very weapon the Second Amendment was written to protect, the backbone of the Rule of Law, and your idiotic wish to outlaw them I regard as treasonous and a personal, mortal threat.

I suppose I should discuss the trouble on the Mexican border. It’s very simple: this is our country and we can let in whoever we want and keep out whoever we want. President Trump has the legal right and obligation to do what he proposes—read the goddamned Constitution, you symps.The immigrants’ commitment to actually becoming Americans, to absorb and live by American values, is microscopic. And they’re bringing horrible diseases to us (there’s a bloody typhus epidemic in Los Angeles) that Americans haven’t suffered for 200 years. I reiterate my call for a fleet of A-10 Warthogs patrolling along the border. I wanna see those thirty millimeters roll. Are you listening, Martha?

Finally, the less I say about the Jussie Smollett case, and its repulsive little weasel of a perpetrator, the better. You have forced me to side with the Chicago cops, you schmuck, and as a veteran of 1968, that makes me want to vomit.

Hold still.