Special to TLE

The name I had originally intended to put at the top of this rant was, "Shiat That's Wrong with the World," but that would be wrong! People are always reading my shiat and telling me how great it is, ....but then they tell me they don't like the swearing.

So, then don't ******* read it!

That's one thing that's wrong with the world today. There are too many people out there raising hell about "being offended" by reading something somewhere with a swear word in it. The by-now boring ululation, "It's For the Children" is inevitably next to rear its ugly head, and then frequently nowadays, some self-important, pointy-headed "authority" manages to become involved.

Hello!

Here's a clue for all you easily offended hordes out there: Profanity has been inextricably intertwined with the written word since recorded history began. Get over it already! I'm sorry, but calling in the Pharisees down at the local A-G's office will probably not significantly alter the course and substance of eternal human nature.

What's wrong with the world today is that it's a modern techno-social utopia run amok. Government has evolved in to a waking nightmare where conceit reigns supreme over intellect, back-room patricians and their robotic bureaucrats seek to compell a preternatural egalitarianism, and the masses acquiesce tragically in a somnolent, drone-like indifference. Sadly, the once embraced brilliance of the ideal of individual sovereignty has been brutally dimmed to the dull grey gloaming of state-sanctioned mediocrity.

Yeah! And I'll tell you something else that's wrong with the world today ....All the horseshit new "security" measures being implemented since the WTC bombing.

I recently had the singular displeasure of flying commercially, and the ineptitude of the "security screeners" would have been farcically hilarious had it been any less ironically and tragically oxymoronic. The latest feel-good "security" protocol is an outright sham. It was in a sleepy little jetport in Florida, but it could have been anywhere.

Several times I watched incredulously as the same elderly gentlemen were repeatedly singled out for "random wand sweeps" and "spot shoe searches," obviously part of an irrelevant and ineffectual quota-based search system. I mean, anyone with half a brain could have seen that these old farts were retired dairy farmers or train engineers from Vermont, or perhaps old used car salesmen from Topeka and Park City. At the very worst, one or two might have been fugitive former WWII Nazi concentration camp guard "war criminals," risking a last-chance visitation to their only remaining grand-nieces before their lonely earthly demise.

Anyway, the complete futility of continually "randomly" searching the same 400 year old fogeys is indicative of the unabashed and completely cosmetic nature of the newly mandated "security" measures ....and this was all after several trips through the standard x-ray machines and the usual walk-through metal detectors, no less.

At one point early in the day, I was amused to see one of the young female wand-wielders repeadedly triggering the alarm by scanning passengers too closely to her own medal-bedecked uniform tunic. Oddly enough, neither the recurring alarm nor her misuse of the equipment seemed to cause anyone any undue consternation.

The absolute lowpoint occurred as I was myself shunted aside for the umpteenth time for yet another wanding and frisking by an ostensibly normal and attractive young lady. As she approached me in her most officious manner, she smiled and waved her wand at me, asking, "You geeve me per-MEEE-shun? Eees alright, yes? You geeve me per-MEEE- shun?"

I nearly lost it. This cute little, barely English speaking, black- eyed bronze-skinned, third-world meter-maid was screening ME for weapons of mass destruction?!?

I know, I know ....I should have been cooler in the face of these minor indignations which I obviously blew all out of proportion. After all, I should have felt comforted, ....reassured and confident that in case of any ultimate failure in the ground screening procedures, military jets were standing by on alert, ready to shoot us to pieces with sophisticated missiles should the need arise.

And I'll tell you something else wrong with the world today ....The wonderful computer chips you've been hearing about for years now were finally implanted in humans yesterday for the first time in history. This, coincidentally, also happened in Florida.

If you don't know what's wrong with computer chips being implanted in humans, I can't even begin to tell you in the space I have remaining here. Suffice it to say that these chips are virtually identical to the variety currently being implanted into pets and animals for identification and tracking purposes. Just think of the freedom your chip will afford you. No more pesky passports or photo ID's to lug around, and should you ever be kidnapped, the police will find you in no time flat!

There's much more wrong with the world, of course, but I am feeling a little better now. Besides, I have to save a little something for next time.

Have a nice day!

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