Attribute to L. Neil Smith’s The Libertarian Enterprise

I was exhausted, by the end of Election Night, and pretty much the same way the next day. The prospect of enduring four or even eight years of President Hillary Clinton, possibly followed by President Chelsea Clinton, for the rest of my life, had filled me with an intense and enervating dread. As the night wore on, and Donald Trump secured the victory, I felt better—I had carefully listened to what he actually said and did, instead of what the round-heeled media claimed he said and did—but two days later, I’m still having trouble sleeping.

I think I may know the reason for this.

I was born during the Presidency of Harry S. Truman, a guy almost everybody now says was likeable and maybe even noble, but who was directly responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of individuals, in Japan and Korea, and saddling us with the evil United Nations. I don’t really remember any of that, personally. I was two years old when voters finally gave old “Give ’Em Hell Harry“ the boot. I do remember the next President, though, and even saw him once in person, General Dwight David Eisenhower, a lifelong Democrat. whom most people thought had single-handedly won World War II, and was the choice of the same old Republican elite, over Robert Taft, a genuine non-interventionist conservative. Eisenhower left office warning us all about the “military-industrial complex“ because he knew it well—he was, after all,—a major part of it.

The less that I say about Jack Kennedy the better. By today’s standards he might almost be considered acceptable, but in 1960, he was a collectivist through and through (what did you think “ask what you can do for your country” means?), whose only saving grace was that he was so busy sexually and with narcotics that he didn’t much have time or energy left to get us into real trouble. The media-rigged election of his successor, gun-grabber Lyndon Johnson—who did his best to create a whole new set of Jim Crow laws where gun owners were concerned, who turned a once-great country into a welfare state, while waging a pointless, brutal,—and nonsensical war in Southeast Asia—was one of the worst things that ever happened to America. Nixon, Ford, and Carter—what else can I say?

The point is that, possibly excepting the election of Ronald Reagan, there has never been any good political news in my life. After Reagan, it was George “C.I.A.” Bush, then the creep I called “Caligulito”, then George W. Bush, who I thought was the worst President in history until we ended up with Barack H. Obama. For seventy years, no good news.

No.

Good.

News.

Donald J. Trump was never my idea of an ideal candidate. I could list the myriad ways in which he is less than satisfactory, but that’s been done for me, over and over again, by the nation’s news-floozies and gentlemen of the evening. Hey, Megyn, how do you like him now? What I can see is a man who sincerely loves his country and has more than a glimmering of how to undo the damage done to it by decades of vicious, greedy socialist control. (I define “greed” as a desire for the wealth of other people.) Any doubts I might have had about the man’s character have been more than satisfied by taking a good look at his beautiful, competent, accomplished family.

This has been a time for truth, often painful truth. I quickly became bored with the vile ravings of the likes of Barbra Streisand, Miley Cyrus, Whoopie Goldberg, Katy Perry, and Cher (who has confessed that she was grown and married before she realized that Mount Rushmore is not a natural phenomenon)—I wish they’d really go away instead of just gassing endlessly about it—but I was extremely sad, the day after the election, to see nasty, derogatory comments from J.K. Rowling, the richest socialist this side of George Soros, and a sort of hero to me. Here is a woman I have long admired,—who somehow climbed out of the welfare abyss to become responsible for one of the grandest tributes to individual liberty ever written, but apparently who never learned a goddamned thing from her own writing. Balancing her, another person I admire very much, Denzel Washington, seems to have voted the same way I did. Huzzah!

It may take me a long while to get accustomed to the lifting of the weight of oppression I have carried on my shoulders all my life, every moment wasted wondering what anti-Constitutional atrocity they’d pass next. The only relief I’ve ever had was during the eight- year Reagan Administration, and even that was largely illusory. Reagan, to face the truth, left the government vastly bigger than when he took the reins.

If you want a chance to help keep the Donald from making the same stupid mistake, I suggest you purchase and read my novel Hope, which is about the first libertarian President, and my policy book Down With Power and then write to his wife and kids, who seem to have some influence on him. The books are available through L. Neil Smith’s The Libertarian Enterprise, at the “Free Radical Bookstore”. Use them to hold the new President’s feet to the fire.

If there are any liberals out there, reading this, and you’d like the license number of the truck that hit you Tuesday night, and you’re not satisfied with the standard left-wing manure about how it was all racism and sexism, I offer myself, as a passenger in good standing in the “Basket of Deplorables” for examination.

All of my life you lefties have done absolutely nothing but try to steal whatever I possess, call me vile, untrue names, and limit my natural freedom. All the same, rather than some mythical redneck ignoramus, what you see before you is a professional freelance writer of nearly fifty years’ standing, the author of more than thirty books, and the recipient of five important literary awards. As a youth, I was an Eagle Scout and holder of the B.S.A. God and Country Award, which confirmed me in my atheism. I am also extremely proud to be an honorary Life Member in a great Jewish civil rights organization, J.P.F.O. Nevertheless, the only time I ever had a candidate who reflected any part of what I believe, the full weight and fury of the media, those babble-bimbos and gobbledegoons of the networks, was unleashed on him, and, having no way to fight back in 1964, he went down to ignominious defeat, three to one. Please consider what we did to you last Tuesday Barry Goldwater’s revenge.

With a rim-shot from Dr. Ron Paul.