Attribute to L. Neil Smith’s The Libertarian Enterprise

With every day that passes recently, it becomes clearer what inspired the prophetic author Robert A. Heinlein to predict—in the 1950s or 1960s—the “Crazy Years” that we are living through now. He got a good, hard look at California, which he described (in the short story “There Was A Crooked Man”, as I recall) as the craziest state in America.

Just as an example, I don’t believe it’s any coincidence the two foremost ramrods of the ongoing insane and unconstitutional effort to remove a President from office simply because they don’t like him, are headquartered in that state, along with the bizarre specimen that’s been screaming “Impeach Forty-Five”, almost from the pico-second he was elected.

Partly it’s because he wasn’t their choice, and they believe with all their hearts, and the scrambled, half-cooked noodles in their skulls, that only they are fit to pre-select our leaders and run our country. His philosophy of governance differs from theirs. They watch him starting to dismantle the Utopian collectivist politico-economic regime they’ve been building for two hundred years, and in the sacred name of Edward Bellamy (look him up) they are foot-stamping furious.

Last, but light-years from last (a light year is about six trillion miles) , they are convinced he threatens their highly questionable financial operations. Tell me, how is it that these creatures always end up multi-millionaires on a Congressional salary? “Impeach Forty-Five”, for example, has been called the single most corrupt member in the House of Representatives.

But as usual, I have digressed. The problem appears to be more with California, than Californians. I have many friends who are refugees from that Sovietized state, including your friendly neighborhood editor and my esteemed collaborator, Scott Bieser, who have both decamped to Southern parts. I have many more friends who wish they could escape, but thanks to confiscatory taxes, a ravaged real estate market, and a criminally mismanaged economy, can’t afford it.

My lovely and talented wife, a stoic former Marlboro girl from the Cowboy State, believes the problem arises from the fact that it’s hard to freeze to death in sunny California. It’s warm, and food and cast-off clothes are relatively easy to come by, thanks to perfect imbeciles like the current governor. Conditions like that inevitably attract parasites (yes, that’s what I said), medieval diseases are on the rise, and instead of gold, the streets are paved with shit (and yes, I said that, too). Even under better management, Florida is doomed to suffer a similar fate, and I don’t know enough about southern Texas to make a confident prediction, but if my wife is right, they’ve had it, too.

I suppose there are those, mostly conservatives, I imagine, who would like to make loitering and vagrancy illegal again.

There is a simple, straightforward answer for the rest of us. Half of the Bare Republic (check a 2016 election map) voted Deplorable. It was mostly the eastern counties. The other half voted communist (Oops, did I say that out loud?). Most of them would like to secede, proclaiming that they don’t need or want a Productive Class and (contradictorially) they have the Nth largest economy in the world. They try feebly to ignore the fact that the most productive parts of the state and its most productive people, did not vote for the Queen Bitch of the Universe.

I have proposed before that California be split in two, the long way, into East California and West California. The latter will be ejected unceremoniously from the Union, sort of a reverse of the War Between the States. East Californians can form their own state, or join the adjacent states like Nevada and Arizona. West California will become the new “socialist” poster-child, largely deprived of individuals who work—and think—for a living, replacing destitute, poverty-stricken, starving North Korea and Venezuela.

To make up for the loss, I also proposed long ago that any Mexican state that ratifies our Bill of Rights by a two-thirds super-majority, will be seriously considered for American statehood. Since their recent, disastrously stupid election, we should now extend the invitation to Canada.

And perhaps Texas and Florida can learn from the experience.