Attribute to L. Neil Smith’s The Libertarian Enterprise

I don't mind getting old so much as I mind getting worn out and stupid. And tired. And confused. And silly-in-the-head. Other than that, I don't mind getting old at all. So far.

Back when I was younger, I … uh … can't remember.

But as I drive around my new town, along with what seems like a million other cars, all going somewhere in a big hurry, (and not caring who knows it), as I drive around, I say, I often wonder just what all the big rush is. Then I realize, the speed limit is 45mph along here, and I'm only going 30. Oh well.

It was only a few years ago when I began to speculate on the meaning of life. And then I found it, on a small strip of paper found inside a cookie. Wow! The meaning of life and a cookie! Hot dog! And the meaning of life is … well, now I can't find that little strip of paper. Done ate the cookie, too. Rats.

One of the supreme pleasures of life it to tell your children silly and absurd stories to explain the meaning of common phrases or expressions or happenings. I'm thrilled to discover my son is continuing the tradition (passed on to me by my dad) with his sons. Into each life a little absurdity should fall, and by golly it still is.

Had my annual physical at my new doctor's office last week. One of the questions was do I have any anxiety. I said, “Not if I avoid seeing the news.” He agreed that was a good plan, unfortunately not for everybody, though. Then a nice young lady came and sucked out some of my blood—and a day or so later I learned that my blood was all good. Or my blood said I was all good. Or something like that. Normal anyway. Heh! Normal.

So anyway, I've been taking long walks in the Pointless Forest. You know, the one North of the Effing Forrest, East of the Effing Swamp, and West of the Valley of the Effing Idiots. Paved roads, too.

 

 

But anyway, I'm sure you all (or y’all) have been wondering about that “universal basic income” which is similar to Basic English or Basic Programming Language, or Basic Acid. Here is some information (or something):

Universal basic income, explained — and why these free cash handouts remain unlikely by Sarah Foster, and Universal basic income is here—it just looks different from what you expected, by Eileen Guo

So what's up with all that, anyway. And is everybody in the universe going to get a check, or is it direct deposit. And what are people in, say, the Andromeda galaxy going to do with it? Just how universal can they get? How they do that? What's going on here? When did this all happen? WTF?

And what has all that got to do with all of this:

Multifunction Tool Pen, 6 in 1 Tool with Ballpoint Pen, Touch Screen Stylus, Ruler, Spirit Level, Flat-head and Phillips Screwdriver, All-in-One Tech-Tool Pen with Ink Refills (Yellow + 2×Refills). Looks pretty universal to me!

This, however, is more interesting:

At Last! A Vitamin That Can Make Your Blood Vessels Younger, by Lauren Rearick. Well, golly!

However even more so, I need one of these:

I Identify As Vaccinated T-Shirt. I wish I'd thought of that. But I didn't.

I didn't think of this, either:

 

Or this:

 

But I've seen this one before, or one like it.

 

Speaking of the universe, them danged aliens are at it again:

 

Do try this one at home. Or even better, at work:

 

 

You always suspected Zeno was a smart-ass didn't you? I know I did. And here it is proved:

 

But it is important that you Stay Deplorable!