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What Would Jesus Shoot
by A.X. Perez
[email protected]

Attribute to L. Neil Smith's The Libertarian Enterprise

The illustration for the Easter (April 8th) 2012 issue of The Libertarian Enterprise is a picture of Jesus Christ holding a Winchester lever action rifle captioned "WHAT WOULD JESUS SHOOT?" While many faux Believers (many of them quire bloodthirsty I might add.) might object to this I feel it is a fair question. After all He did ask His Apostles how many of them were heeled before He sent them out to spread the Word, and He did advise that "he who owns a cloak should sell it and buy a sword." While He did tell Simon Peter to stand down at Gethsemane, tactically all Peter could have accomplished would have been the slaughter of Jesus and His followers. Strangely, the bosses who want the rest of us to bare our throats to their knives only remember this story and use it as an example of why we should not forcibly resist tyranny. Makes ya go "hmmm."

However, let us play this question straight. What firearms would Jesus (and His immediate followers) acquire? A man could choke to death if we include legacy weapons (e.g., Grandpa's '03-A3 bought as war surplus back in the Fifties, Uncle Neil's GI .45 from the Early Seventies), so let's limit ourselves to what new weapons someone, most likely an urban someone, would buy in 2012. Again this is to limit choices, toss in used guns and this note would get out of hand.

Given the realities of urban self defense, Jesus first concern would be to score a handgun. He probably would have bought a Glock 17 or 19, though given that the Son of G*d was smarter than average, He may have bought a Glock in .45 ACP or .40 Liberty (Smith and Wesson) for the better stopping power. There is a reasonable chance He might have bought a Taurus Millenium Pro series pistol instead due to this company's lower prices.

He would probably own a Remington 870 or maybe a Mossberg pump action shotgun in 12 gauge. Like the Glock these are inexpensive, rugged and reliable weapons. His rifle would not be a lever action, though romantic, these are "legacy weapons" as defined above. The big question would be if He chose a weapon with an ubiquitous ammo supply or one noted for reliability. In other words would Jesus shoot an AK-47 variant (reliable and inexpensive) or an AR 15 (plenty of ammo and spare parts in the US).Of course the last parenthetical answers the question outside the US, most people would get AK's. Izmash makes Saiga rifles (semi auto AK variants) in .223 Remington as well 7.62 x 39 mm.

He probably would have owned a four to five inch barrel .357 Magnum revolver and a .22 rifle and pistol. There are too many good weapons in each caliber by too many makers for anyone to say which He would have used.

All of His weapons would have been well maintained, clean and properly sighted in. They would have been minimally "tricked out", but they would have been tweaked to assure function and reliability. They would been the weapons of a Carpenter King, suitable for an honest man to defend what was His, not the weapons of a G*d of War and Conquest.

Not the weapons of a Progressive or Neocon politician.

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