Attribute to L. Neil Smith’s The Libertarian Enterprise

Now for something completely different.

During this embarrassingly farcical exile period—house arrest imposed on us illegally by Colorado’s communist governor and his comic-relief slave-legislature—with nothing but the same corona virus garbage on TV, hour after hour, day after day, I have discovered two ways to survive. At my advanced age, stuck as I am in this wheelchair (don’t get me wrong, it’s the best damn office-chair I’ve ever owned) I can write, or I can drink. My heart doctor tells me that the latter is good for me and I try to do a little of both, every day.

I drink beer, mostly, Guiness and Budweiser’s Chelada. But a cocktail I sort of semi-invented is pleasing me enormously, lately, and I hope it pleases you, as well. It’s on the desk beside me as I write this. I have been tempted, since it belongs, essentially, to the same family as the Bloody Mary (vodka and tomato juice) and the Bloody Maria (tequila and the same), to call it a "Bloody Mermaid", but, somehow, that sounds icky. Call it whatever you will, this is what it’s made of….

Start with a tall glass of Mott’s Clamato over ice. Many people can’t stand the idea of tomato juice enhanced with sweet clam juice (and some spices), and I won’t try to sell you on it, here. But if you relish it the way I do (I used to buy it by the gallon), then bon appetit! Throw in a healthy shot of tequila—mine is Cuervo Gold, but your mileage may vary. Add a fat slice of lime on the edge of the glass, a slice of lemon, and a slice of orange. The citrus really dresses it up. These are all ingredients I like very much, and together, they take the edge off a day I spent writing 1000 or 2000 words (my record so far is 3200) and let me relax.

At the end of that day, when my lovely and talented wife quits work and comes home—from the dining room, these days—we have a nice, comfortable cocktail hour (she drinks Cuba Libras) and watch Tucker Carlson. Ordinarily, three giant cans of the Budweiser concoction (which is also made with Clamato) will make me the tiniest bit silly. This drink, the Bloody Mermaid (ick) is surprisingly gentle and I have had two and a half so far without embarrassing myself. I love the taste of tequila neat (many don’t), and I would still be doing shooters, except that my loving bride of 36 years won’t won’t let me eat that much salt.

Please enjoy this silly little drink if you can until we’re all free again.

Oh yeah—I couldn’t resist after all. There’s something I need to get off my chest. I’m sure you remember the way "experts" with computer models warned us all about Y2K, and the way it meant the end of Civilization-As-We-Knew-It. Then there was Global Warming—more experts, more computer models—there are still gullible morons out there who believe it’s not an obvious hoax. Now experts and their—increasingly failing—computer models are all telling us we are in the middle of the worst health crisis since the Black Death.

I happen to be, as you know, a lifelong libertarian and the most fervid advocate of the First Amendment that you will ever read. Therefore, I cannot endorse the suggestion I’ve heard that whenever an “expert" testifies about anything before any legislative body anywhere, and the words "computer model" come out of his mouth, the Sergeant-at-Arms should smash his face in, drag him out into the street, and shoot him him the back of the head. Perhaps millions of lives could be saved that way, but, as a lifelong libertarian and the most fervid advocate of the First Amendment you will ever read, I cannot endorse that position.

So drink up, my dear friends and readers and have the best time—under house arrest—that you possibly can!